Pure of Heart / l.h ✔️

17

~Luke's POV~

I was still feeling a little guilty for having snapped at Nina by the time Carmen got home and began to get ready so we could all leave to go out to dinner. With their mom. That wasn't necessarily something I thought I'd be doing anytime soon and certainly not today, but I suppose it wasn't the worst thing in the world. Their mom seemed kind enough for me, as far as I could tell.

Carmen babbled on to me as she got dressed about some bitch that she worked with who she apparently hated, but I simply couldn't find it in me to pay attention. All I could think of was Nina. It was like this more and more often. Carmen would try to talk with me and, at first, I'd listen but at some point I would just drift off into thought about Nina. I couldn't stop it. Usually, though, I wasn't thinking about how guilty I felt for being a dick to Nina. Of course, that was simply because I had never been mean to her or even snapped at her or anything. I really liked her and the last thing that I wanted was to hurt her feelings. But when she asked me if I could see myself marrying Carmen...goddamn it, something in me just completely snapped and I flipped a switch.

The idea of marrying Carmen had occurred to me before, back when I didn't know Nina, but now I was sure that I simply couldn't. And I also knew that the reason for that was precisely because of Nina, and my feelings for her. She had stolen my affection and I didn't know what the fuck to do about it. It wasn't like I could break up with Carmen for her sister, who she adored and who adored her right back. I didn't regret meeting Nina, not at all, but this was all so complicated that I sometimes wished I hadn't ever come here. The only girl I wanted now was the very one that I couldn't have. Sometimes life could be a bitch, I guess.

It wasn't like it was Nina's fault that I snapped at her because it wasn't. That question just didn't sit well with me. For fucks sake, any question that had to do with Carmen didn't sit right with me when it was coming from Nina because I didn't want to think about Carmen. I didn't want to think about the fact that the only reason Carmen was no longer the love of my life was because of Nina. I just...wanted to pretend like I wasn't falling out of love with her and even more in love with Nina. And Nina didn't know that she was the cause for my fading feelings for Carmen, so she didn't know that she shouldn't ask about her older sister. None of this was her fault, but I had snapped at her anyways.

"Luke!" Carmen huffed as she placed her hands on her narrow hips, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Huh?" I asked dumbly, making her roll her eyes. She walked over in the tight fitting red dress and black heels, sitting down beside me on the bed. Usually I would've been all over her, but I couldn't think of anything except the fact that she didn't smell like black cherry merlot like Nina did. She didn't have long hair down her back or the curves on Nina that I had grown to love, and she didn't look the same as Nina in red lipgloss. I felt guilty after all of my comparisons to Nina, wondering when exactly Carmen stopped being someone who I felt desire for. When had my heart slipped out of her hands and made its way to Nina's instead?

"You weren't listening, were you?" She smiled at me knowingly and I sent an apologetic one right back. "I'm sorry, Cara. I've just got some stuff on my mind." I sighed, being as vague as possible.

She giggled softly and immediately my brain snapped its way to Nina, yapping at me about how Carmen's giggle wasn't as cute as Nina's was. "Maybe we should do something to help clear your mind." She smiled playfully, placing a hand on my thigh in a suggestive manner. My brows raised as I looked at her, feeling her dainty hand begin to unbutton my pants and my buckle on my belt. "Right now?" I asked, surprised. It had been a while since Carmen and I had done anything intimate. Shit, we hadn't done anything more than kissing in the nearly two months that we'd been here. The weird thing was that I didn't even care. I'd been too preoccupied with Nina. "Yes, now." She giggled, pulling my pants down a little.