they were all lies. | jihan <3

five ✿

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* [ joshua's pov ] *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

———————— 5 years ago —————————

18 september 05:34pm
i typed in the last few words of my resume. i took a deep breath and clicked on the "submit" button.

i did it.

i smiled and admired the old photograph of my mother and i, just a week before god called her home. i missed her so much...

mum, are you proud of me?

i remember that night when you were tucking me into bed. you told me to chase after my dreams, and to never stop until i accomplish my goal.

and so i did.

i knew dancing and singing was my calling since the beginning of time. just performing on stage alone brings me so much joy and happiness.

i knew i could bless the world with my music and wonderful performances.

i sighed and flopped down onto my bed. submerging myself under my covers, anticipating the release of my results.

19 september
nothing.

20 september
nothingg.

21 september
nothinggg.

22 september
nothingggg.

23 september
nothinggggg.

24 september
nothingggggg.

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04 october 9:56am
"i'll be staying at hannie's place for the night! buhbyeee love you dadddd~" i informed my dad before leaving the house and walked over to jeonghan's place.

i smiled and was about to knock on jeonghan's dark red front door when my phone vibrated in my back pocket.

i answered the call immediately, "hello? yes sir, this is joshua hong."

"there's no easy way to say this, joshua. but you're not accepted into pledis. i'm sorry." the voice on the other side said.

tears sprung into my eyes as i negotiated, "wait!! no, you've made a mistake. please reconsider your decision! you won't regret it sir, just give me a chance to prove myself. please..."

"i've heard that about a thousand times today, haha. i'm sorry mr hong, you could try sm entertainment, i heard they are in need of a dance instructor and vocalist assistant. good luck and goodbye." he hung up.

suddenly i couldn't breathe, i dropped my handphone onto the ground in shock. i was so sure i was gonna get this job. but why didn't i get it...

my shock turned into sadness.

what am i going to do? pledis was and still is my dream.

i failed. i'm sorry mum.

tears rolled down my face as i sniffled repeatedly.

ring ring! ring ring! my phone rang again.

i wiped my tears away before picking up my phone from the ground and answering the call.

"hello..." i mumbled, pouting slightly.