they were all lies. | jihan <3

twenty eight ✮

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  [ jeonghan's pov]  *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

fear.

what is the meaning of fear?

the dictionary defines fear in two ways:

1) an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm.

2) be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or harmful.

but i only know one version of fear — it's terrifying. it inflicts hurt and pain, it causes the beautiful rays of sunshine that fills a little girl's room to turn into darkness. cold. it's like a void, once you're stuck in it, you'll never be able to get out. it scares the little girl away, she hides from the dark, under her fluffy protection — her only protection— her blanket. afraid of the creatures that could be waiting to pounce on her any moment. because she's fearful. but sometimes, a piece of quilt isn't enough, to chase away those creatures, they still come, and kill you.

i'm devastated to say, that my little quilt right now, was Joshua.

but something in me didn't trust him, a little voice in my head told me that he couldn't protect me, let alone save me from the grasp of seungcheol.

but he's my only hope now, all i can do is believe in him, and hope we'll be okay.

⇎⇎⇎

seungcheol's back was facing me. he was pacing up and down the stage again, waiting for his "accomplice" to arrive.

joshua was standing just below the elevated stage, looking extremely lost and scared. he kept looking around, as if looking for a particular someone.

i wanted to run to him and hug him, as the rest of the world melts away, to smell his sweet scent, which never failed to bring me the feeling of comfort and belonging. to dissolve in his arms, and stay forever that way, with nothing stopping me, or threatening to hurt me.

but the only emotion i could feel, was fear. it invaded my body, and i embraced the strange feeling, once again, into my bloodstream.

why? why did i let you in, fear?

i inched forward little by little, trying to escape the grasp of fear that held onto me so tightly. i leaned forward with all my might, trying to reach joshua, until i was interrupted by the reminder that my hands were still being restrained. by fear.

fear, let me go please, i did nothing wrong.

i've had already lost my voice, but i wanted to tell and assure joshua that i was gonna be okay.

i wasn't gonna be okay.

but even i, didn't believe that i was going to be fine.

fear, is going to hurt me.

all i could do now was pray. pray that i'll be okay, pray that joshua would be fine.

fear, have mercy please.

it all happened so fast. soonyoung. he came up on the stage, pulling seungcheol into a brotherly hug, as seungcheol announced the arrival of his accomplice.

wait what? what is soonyoung doing here?! oh my god. no way. soonyoung i-is, seungcheol's partner in crime?! this can't be?? b-but the soonyoung that we all knew was such an innocent and bubbly boy! smiling and laughing all the time, never failing to lighten our moods.

i started at soonyoung again. then, i noticed something different. his usual 10:10 smile and cheerful expression was gone. it was replaced by a constant and annoying looking smirk.

the smirk grew wider, as his eyes drifted over to where i was. he eyed me as he whispered something into seungcheol's ear, making the older let out a loud laugh into the microphone, his ugly voice echoing around the lobby.

seungcheol passed the mic to soonyoung, who faced the crowd again.

"I'm pretty sure you all know who Joshua Hong is, am i right?" he sneered, while the crowd replied with a small "yes".

"why don't you join us on stage, Joshua? soonyoung offered.

don't do it joshua, don't come up please.

joshua took a deep breath and climbed onto the stage steadily, walking towards me.

"oh, not so fast joshua." seungcheol stood in front of me, blocking his way.

"get out of my way, you animal." joshua clenched his fists and demanded in anger.

"so so rude, hmm?" seungcheol scoffed. " i think your rudeness should be punished. plus, you were late, by seven minutes. so let's see, because of your pride and ignorant behaviour, i shall times the number bytwo. so, 14 strokes."

what? what 14 stro—

a searing pain shot up my side like fire. i cringed. it exploded in my head with a blinding whiteness. it made me dizzy. it made me reel. the pain was like needles that had been dipped in alcohol had been jammed through my skin, like my arm had been replaced with ice and electricity wired straight into my spine. and the pain stayed, lingering, stinging my skin. i could feel the warmth, from the red crimson blood flowing down my side like a waterfall. stars and black spots filled my vision, blinding me temporarily.

"stupid cloth." i heard seungcheol say, seconds later, he was taking away the cloth from my mouth. it was slightly bloodied because of my attempts to get it out of my mouth.

once my vision stabilised, i could see seungcheol a few feet in front of me, holding a whip. yes, the whip that people used on horses, to make them move or go faster. and he used it on me. no wonder it hurt like hell.

joshua was crying, begging him to stop torturing me, he was trying to get to me, kicking and screaming. but seungcheol had tied him to the chair beside me.

"that was one. 13 more to go~" seungcheol smiled, as he raised the whip again.

i let out an ear shattering scream, that even i didn't know i could produce such a high pitched wail like this.

the pain came again, but i couldn't feel it.

my body was numb.

then, everything went dark.

i couldn't see, my vision was completely black, i could only hear, but only slightly.

there was a ringing noise in my ears.

i could hear joshua screaming, and the crowd gasping and shouting.

i could hear the horrifying sound of the whip hitting my body.

i could hear the alarm in the building go off.

and then i couldn't hear anymore.

✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*tbc *･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿

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[a/n]
oh god, what am i doing xd
mianhae, i know i'm a terrible person i'm so sorry T^T
but, thank you for sticking with me all these 28 parts! love y'all💘💘💘
(word count: 1051 words)