✓ 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭, mattia polibio

part twelve

Adeya

I wish I could have stayed in bed one more day, but mom made me go until at least 11. It was the last day before we had a week vacation. So, I went. I thought maybe if I looked good, I would feel good. So I got up a little earlier.

I showered and applied my makeup like how I normally do (eyeliner and mascara) and I curled my hair. It was messy curls but looked great in my long hair. I took a little time picking out my outfit.

I wore a pair of black jeans and a baby blue hoodie. I threw on my white converse.

I decided to walk to school, because for one, it was a beautiful day and two, I needed my space for a bit.

I kissed my moms cheek goodbye before heading out. The air was cold, but not too cold. It was perfect weather. I walked my normal route until the school came into view. I took a deep breath as I walked through the big front doors.

I made my way to my first class with no daisies, no hundreds of notes and no big banners. Nobody really stared, thank gosh.

I walked into class and took a seat next to a boy I sort of knew. He smiled and I began to smalltalk with him.

"You look very pretty today." He smiled at me.

"Oh, thank you." I blushed.

"So, uh, do you mind telling me about you and Mattia?" He said and I felt stabbed in the heart. I quickly shook my head staring wide eyed at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was a sensitive subject."

"I-it's fine." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

Suddenly, the classroom door slammed open. I saw Mattia rush in, staring at me. He grabbed my by my waist, pulling me out of my seat. He stared at me for a moment before placing his lips on mine. I can honestly say it was probably the most passionate kiss me and him have ever shared.

I felt fireworks go off, the world stopped as it were only me and him. I didn't care about everyone staring at us. My only focus was Mattia and those beautiful lips that were against mine.

One of his hands moved my hair away from my face as the other was placed gently but firmly on my hip. His touch was indescribable. He was rough, but gentle. He was graceful but very over the top. I couldn't think of the perfect word if it were to save my life.

As much as I wanted to push him off, I couldn't. I was in his trance. But, that was soon over as soon as his lips left mine. He breathed heavily. Leaning his forehead on mine.

"Now, tell me you didn't feel anything." He whispered.

My heart shattered. I suddenly remembered WHY exactly I couldn't kiss him like that all the time. Everything came back to mind.

"I can't say that.. Because if I did, I would be lying." I bite my lip, moving back from him. "But- I can't forgive you Mattia.. you need to understand why." I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Adeya. I don't know what else I can do for you to forgive me. I am so sorry. And I will regret this for as long as I live."

"There isn't anything else to do. Eventually, we will both move on and find someone that makes us happy." I was lying straight through my teeth, but it was easier than telling him the truth.

It was easier than telling him that I will never find someone like him. "It's going to hurt like hell until then, but we can't be together. Not after what happened." My voice cracked as I felt myself begin to cry

"No. That's bullshit. I will never find someone who can replace you. I lost my virginity to you for christs sake." He said, which immediately made the room completely stop.

No one moved, no one spoke. "I will never love anyone like I love you. Do you understand how much of a fool I've made myself these past days? I cried infront of half the school, I tore apart a hallway, I've had a tantrum. All because of you. I look like an idiot in front of the entire school."

"You don't think I look like an idiot?" I screamed. "I was just a fucking bet to you! That's so embarrassing. I was just your little toy, who you slept with. Now I look like a fucking slut and a loser. Don't you dare tell me how embarrassed you are. You weren't used. My feelings for you were real."

My tears were no longer hurt tears, they were angry tears. I knew my face was red and I felt like my eyes were blowing steam.

"I didn't use you! Yes, Adeya, in the beginning you were some bet. But the first time I hung out with you, when I drove you home that first day.. God, you changed me. I forgot about the bet. You were my only focus. I liked you from the minute I saw you dancing to Post Malone in my car. I liked you from the moment you invited me inside your house.

I liked you from the moment you almost kissed me and got all flustered when your mom walked in! I liked you from the moment you told me not to fall in love with you.

I loved you from the moment we actually did kiss. I loved you from the moment 6LACK was playing in my car and your body was swaying with the music. I loved you from the moment we had our first date. And from the moment where you ran out in the rain to save a puppy and from the moment where we kissed in the rain.

God, Adeya. I am head over heels in love with you and everything you do. The way you say my name makes me want to try harder. I can't imagine a world where you aren't in my life. You are my person, I am deeply in love with you and it drives me crazy. "

I stared at Mattia as he went off, saying all this in front of over 30 people in my class. I couldn't think of what to do. Or what to say.

"Mattia, I told you not to fall in love with me.." I looked up at him with watery eyes. "I also told you not to break my heart.. Well, congratulations, you just managed to do both."

We stared at each other for what felt like years, but it was only about half a minute.

"I'm not suppose to still love you, I'm suppose to hate you. Hate you for using me, Hate you for breaking my heart. Hate you for making me love you. But I don't. I love you Mattia Polibio, with all my heart.

But.. I'm just not ready to have my heart broken again by you. I- I can't forgive you easily or at all. This is unforgivable.. I just, I just wish I didn't still love you." I licked my lips.

"You should get to class Mattia, before you're late."

I stood there crying as I saw Mattia turn and leave my class room. He was out of my sight, but not before I saw him wipe away a tear or two.

I saw down at my seat, feeling everyones eyes on me.

"What? Never seen a girl cry?" I snapped.

A random boy from across the class replied to me. And his reply made my heart shatter just a little bit more.

"No.. We've never seen a girl make Mattia Polibio cry."