Dead Reckoning - A Gregorio del Pilar x Reader story

VIII - Occhiolism

n. the awareness of the smallness of your perspective, by which you couldn't possibly draw any meaningful conclusions at all, about the world or the past or the complexities of culture, because although your life is an epic and unrepeatable anecdote, it still only has a sample size of one, and may end up being the control for a much wilder experiment happening in the next room.

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I once read, from some book I can no longer name, that among all elements in the world—air, earth, water and fire—only the element of fire is not exactly present in the world, that's why, it's only known component is to destroy. The three other elements know how to destroy and also to save; but with fire, it doesn't. But, looking at the municipal captain of Norzagaray, to find his own town burning, seems to be an accomplishment. As if it is his sole salvation that frees him from the binds of the enemies. Surprisingly, fire itself seems to save him.

The news of the fire sparks behind us. We're already far from Norzagaray when we heard that the Spaniards are searching for the municipal captain, and after desperate search, seems to give up so easily that they just brushed it off. With that, we continue on our journey up north.

"Y/N, kumusta ang iyong misyon?" Isidro immediately asks me as he walks next to me. He has an easy smile in his face despite everything that is happening since the time that I've arrived here. Like most of us, he smells; but I don't care. No one cares when all of us are fleeing for our lives in search of safety from the much stronger enemies with bigger calibers of armaments in comparison to what we have. He looks ahead of him where the del Pilar brothers are walking ahead. "Yung kay Goyong?"

I hesitate sharing to him what happened by the river a few days ago. Instead, I shrug and sigh. "Parang napaka-imposible na matupad ko iyon. Simula pa lamang, ayaw niya na sa akin. Kulang na lang, ipautos niya na iwan ako sa bawat bayan na tinitigilan natin."

He laughs. "Hindi niya magagawa iyon. Sapagkat hahanapin ka ni Soledad. Alam naman niya iyon."

"Hindi pa rin ba ako pwede bumalik sa amin? Parang wala naman akong magagawa sa lahat ng nangyayari ngayon."

"Kakasimula pa lamang, Y/N. Habang tumatagal ang pananatili mo rito sa laro, palaki ng palaki ang gagampanan mong papel sa buhay ni Goyong. Pero, sa ngayon, hindi pa oras para mabiyayaan ka..." He stops and chuckles a little, before clearing his throat, trying in vain to be serious as he adds, "...ng mangga."

I hiss, remembering all at once the irony that I need to find a mango in order to leave this game.

Sa dami-dami ng pwedeng bagay, mangga pa. Bakit hindi na lang saging? Madali-daling hanapin. Pero, mangga? Ano? Sa Davao o sa Zambales pa ba ako dapat mapadpad?

I shake my head at that weird notion. I don't even know how far is Zambales from where we are traveling. There is even no way that I'll make it to Davao just for those coveted mangoes. Airplane is a few years from being invented, and boat travel will surely require me some passport and money and time, which I don't have.

"Y/N?" Isidro calls out, worry audible in his voice.

I turn to him and shake my head another time before looking ahead to where Goyo is, visibly exhausted like the rest but continues to hold his head high.

A second later, he looks up at the sky as if searching for something, causing me to follow his action, just to see the blue sky and white fluffy clouds. When I pin my eyes back to him, I realize that he is walking again, much more determined, visible on his strides this time.

I guess I'll need to prove myself worthy first before I even make it home. And for that, I must focus on the task I have on hand.

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