XXII - Catoptric Tristesse

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n. the sadness that you'll never really know what other people think of you, whether good, bad or if at all—that although we reflect on each other with the sharpness of a mirror, the true picture of how we're coming off somehow reaches us softened and distorted, as if each mirror was preoccupied with twisting around, desperately trying to look itself in the eye.

* * *

"Narinig ko na ang rason ni Presidente Aguinaldo," Isidro says, "kaya niya napagdesisyunan na ilipat ang gobyerno dito sa Malolos ay dahil kay Goyo. Mas pinagkakatiwalaan niya raw ang Bulacan kaysa sa Cavite."

"Siguro dahil mas malawak-lawak ang matatakbuhan niya?" I jokingly inquire. "Alam mo... kapag may biglang umatake, malawak-lawak ang norte. Isa pa, madami sa mga pinagkakatiwalaan niyang heneral ay taga-norte. Di lang kapani-paniwala na ginawa niya iyon dahil kay Goyo."

Isidro turns to me sharply, frowning a little bit; causing me to look at him the same way as well. Slowly asking, unsure if I've said something completely out of the blue and not worth it, "Bakit?"

He then shakes his head after a few seconds of just staring at each other that only didn't ease my uneasiness about the topic but makes me curious much more. "Wala lang," he says after a full minute of silence. "Naisip ko lang na... malaki-laki nga ang norte mula sa Bulacan, kumpara sa timog. Hmm... maganda siguro gawing kuta ng republika ang mga bundok sa norte kung kinakailangan, ano?"

"Hmm?"

He smiles at me softly, reminding me of that soft and very gentle-hearted Isidro that I've first met. The one that I've considered to be just as innocent as I do with this war, but appears to have the blood of a warrior hidden beneath those scars he has. "Sabi mo nga, kung sino ang nasa mataas na posisyon... siyang mas nakakaangat sa panahon ng labanan."

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A few days later, just about the same time that President Aguinaldo arrived in Malolos, representatives from different provinces started arriving one by one.

Most of them are people that I don't know of, a few had been generals carefully ranked by Aguinaldo, but most of them were the rich folks. The people you expect to be behind huge establishments, all the while the poor were shakled to work for them. They have that vibe, and it is frightening how, aside from the generals of each brigade Aguinaldo has, that decisions were also handled by these very people who surely are not going at the frontlines of the battle. But people who'll surely be tossing another useless coin from their purses for some rash decision making when needed, than look at the bigger picture and gather all essential data before deciding that will benefit the majority. The same people you expect to be the first ones to run if a threat is going on about fifty nautical miles or more from them, carrying their riches as they run away from the problem on hand.

I wonder how Aguinaldo had chosen them as part of the Revolutionary Congress he'd decided to open in Malolos. Well, anong bago? Ang Pilipinas nga sa real world hinalal ang mga taong mas uunahin ang sariling kapakanan at pera kaysa sa bayan. Pilipinas... kailan ka magbabago?

Two weeks after Aguinaldo announced that they've finally made a draft of the Constitution of the First Philippine Republic, a grand feast is expected to be held, along with the ratification of the Act of the Declaration of the Philippine Independence that had been earlier drafted in Bacoor, Cavite just on the first week of August. And, since it is like celebrating two important events, grand becomes double grand. I mean, you expect a grand celebration for one, and since there are two, it is like putting one grand celebration and another one grand celebration together.

Everyone is ecstatic as Aguinaldo's generals from different parts of the Philippines gather for the important event. Their troops trailing them with their own distinction of which brigade they are part of. It is not surprising to find out that majority of the soldiers are under Goyo's brigade. Well, this is their province; and he is the commandant of this province. If there's someone next in the ranking to Aguinaldo in Bulacan, it is him.

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