Dead Reckoning - A Gregorio del Pilar x Reader story

XI - Pâro

n. the feeling that no matter what you do is always somehow wrong—that any attempt to make your way comfortably through the world will only end up crossing some invisible taboo—as if there's some obvious way forward that everybody else can see but you, each of them leaning back in their chair and calling out helpfully, colder, colder, colder.

* * *

"'Matanglawin' kung tawagin ng marami," Isidro states as he begins to tell the story. He might not have answered my question, but it had been evident on his eyes and his words that he is speaking about someone who is already dead. "Patapos na sana siya ng Panitik, pero, gaya ng kahit sino man sa marami sa amin, piniling itigil ang pag-aaral upang sumama sa himagsikan. Hindi na kagulat-gulat, tulad ni Goyong, hinahangaan naming lahat si Dr. Jose Rizal. Siguro naman ay kilala mo si Dr. Rizal, ano?" He looks at me with a quirk eyebrow as if to attest that he is right with his judgment of me.

I bite my lower lip and nod. "National hero nga ng Pilipinas, eh."

He laughs a little. "Noviembre 30, noong nakaraang taon. Halos mahigit isang buwan bago nagsimula ang laro na ito... ang digmaan ng San Rafael. Swerte na lang siguro si Enteng na nakatakas siya. Walong daang tao raw o higit pa ang namatay, mapa-bata man, o matanda; sundalo man o hindi; walang linigtas ang mga Kastila. Sabi pa nila, abot hanggang bukong-buko ang lalim ng dugo sa simbahan."

"Doon rin namatay si Heneral Enriquez," I add.

He nods and sighs heavily. "Sabi ng iba, marami raw sa mga napatay ay pugot ang ulo o wakwak ang mga sikmura ng mga ito."

I shiver, not daring to close my eyes to visualize his words. Somehow, I dread it. I am glad that I didn't arrive at such a world to bear witness of it. Perhaps, if it had been the introductory part of this game, it's already a 'game over' for me. And now, I wonder, if I die in this game, will I also die in my real world? I don't want to imagine it, but I can't help thinking even the possibility of it. Instead, I sigh heavily and clear my throat. "Anyway, nasaan tayo ngayon? Or di kaya... ano ang kailangan ko abangan dito ngayon?"

"Nasa labas lamang ng bayan ng Paombong. Mga isang kilometro mula roon," he answers.

"Saan iyon?"

"Bulacan pa rin, (Y/N)."

"Ah..."

"Hindi pa rin nagbabago ang iyong misyon, (Y/N). Sabagay, wala namang magbabago roon. Kailangan mo pa rin tulungan si Goyo sa kung ano man ang kailanganin niya. Ang tanong na nga lang ay saan mo ba siya dadalhin. Sa tama, o sa mali," he says, looking at me intently.

I match his stare and gulp in hard. I can feel the weight of my responsibility resting much heavier on my shoulders. After all, how much influence I'll be able to give a man who won't even take my suggestions seriously? Who considers me dumb for not simply knowing him, or, if according to how he acts around me, as if I don't know common human interaction in the first place.

I might perhaps escaped a bully and sardonic devil in my real world by being here, but it appears that he turns out to have an equivalent who ends up to be the main subject of this game. Maybe some 'restart' button out there will allow me to make new interaction with Goyo in a much lighter note.

"Pendejo!"

I freeze upon hearing that insult another time. However, I start to think of it comforting, since it gives me a reminder to change that acknowledgement of him to me. Perhaps we can change that 'stupid' from my real name instead. Soon. For now, let it be a reminder for me to remember that it is him, personally, calling me.

Isidro raises an eyebrow at that. I can see the question on his face, asking if he heard right such as 'Pendejo'.

I smile softly at him and sigh lightly before finally turning to the direction of the voice.