XXVI - Liberosis

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n. the desire to care less about things—to loosen your grip on your life, to stop glancing behind you every few steps, afraid that someone will snatch it from you before you reach the end zone—rather to hold your life loosely and playfully, like a volleyball, keeping it in the air, with only quick fleeting interventions, bouncing freely in the hands of trusted friends, always in play.

* * *

I am stunned. Surprised. Tears starting to build on the corner of my eyes upon seeing my mother at the doorway of my room, completely furious.

Her otherwise beautiful features are now contorted into anger. The way of anger that I haven't seen from her before. After all, I've never seen her this angry. She surely had scolded me but this seems to had gone way overboard than I anticipated. Especially now that she is holding the disc of Revolución Filipina with a shaking hand as if to keep herself calm. Somehow. "(Y/N)! Anong sabi ko sa iyo tungkol sa mga video games, ha?!" she screams at me. "Nagiging iresponsable ka ha! Naglalaro ka ng mga ganito. Patago pa! Alam mo kung magkano ang mga ganito, di ba? Nagbubulakbol ka lang ata sa iyong pag-aaral!"

Me being me, I speak the first words that I know will defend myself. "M-Ma... teka lang. Let me explain, okay?" I am shaking from head to toe. I don't know what my mother can do now that she has the disc. The worry that I'll never find the end of the game and fail everyone I've known from it terrifies me to the core. "H-Hindi siya yung inaakala mo!"

"Kung hindi ako maaga umuwi mula sa trabaho, hindi ko malalaman yung totoo. Hindi ko malalaman na naglalaro ka lang imbis na nag-aaral! Alam mo kung gaano kamahal ang tuition mo, di ba? Kaya malaking bagay sa atin yung scholarship mo!"

"M-Ma, please!" I beg as I try to reach for the disc, however, she only moves her hand back. "Sa akin na muna yung CD tapos pag-usapan natin ito. Please."

"CD, CD! Yan na lang ba ang alam ng utak mo?! Talaga bang sinasadya mo na galitin ako?" She bites back. "Sige, maglaro ka!" And all of a sudden, she bends the disc into two and throws it into the floor.

The tears finally fall from my eyes and down my cheeks as I plummet to the ground, shocked with what just happened. The disc lies in half, making me realize that it is broken. It is indeed broken. And I am starting to wonder how I will go back to the game. I've promised that I'll fulfill my mission. How will I see everyone from the game again? How about Goyo? What will happen to him? How will... How will I be able to...

"Ano? Talaga bang nagpakatanga ka na sa laro na iyan para iyakan mo ng ganyan?" My mother screams at me, scoffing still in anger.

I didn't hesitate to take the disc with me and sling my bag onto my shoulder where my wallet is. Not even heeding her, I leave the house to head straight to the only person I know could help me.

# # #

I am desperate. Perhaps, that's the reason that I bolt down the streets and hail a taxi. Despite me hating the idea, there's no other way for me but to seek his help. After all, he's the only one who could surely help me, remembering how knowledgeable he appears with the disc. It only takes me two knocks against the main door, and finally, Gregory answers.

"Gregory... K-Kailangan ko ang tulong mo," I tell him.

Maybe because I sound truly desperate or my eyes had remained blurry with tears that when Gregory opens the door for me, gone is the flamboyance that he usually has. Gone the smile and the bright eyes. Now replaced with a young man I barely know, one with softness and gentleness on his voice, and genuine worry on his features; almost taking me aback if this is really Gregory I am facing.

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