XLIV - Avenoir

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n. the desire that memory could flow backward. We take it for granted that life moves forward. But you move as a rower moves, facing backwards: you can see where you've been, but not where you're going. And your boat is steered by a younger version of you. It's hard not to wonder what life would be like facing the other way...

* * *

I feel dry tears on my cheeks as I wake up, seeing the familiar comfort of the ceiling of my room back home. The curtains just beside my bed had been parted, showcasing the sky bleed with the color of the sunset. And for a moment, I am caught with its beauty and the sadness that the game is over and the day is ending.

"(Y/N), it's finished."

I immediately turn to the direction of the voice, surprised to find Gregory inside my room, leaning heavily against the door. I brush away the dry tears and ask him, "Gregory? Bakit ka nandito sa bahay? Paano ka nakapasok? P-Paano kapag nalaman nila mama—"

He shakes his head. "'Wag ka mag-alala. Hindi nila malalaman."

I draw closer to him, slowly. "P-Paano ako nakabalik dito? Hindi naman ako kumain ng mangga... o iyon na talaga ang katapusan noon?" I shake my head. "I-Imposible... Hindi ko man lang siya nakita." I bite my lower lip, looking at him intently then. "Gregory, baka may paraan. Please! Let me return to the game." A lump of tears seem to rise in my throat. "K-Kahit iyon lang."

However, he remains firm despite my pleading. "(Y/N)... Tapos na ang Revolución Filipina."

I shake my head much more. "No, no! Game siya so pwede ko i-restart, di ba? Willing ako na ulit-ulitin yung laro mula sa simula, kahit ano pa mangyari!"

"(Y/N), sa mundo na ito, nandito ang pamilya mo at mga kaibigan mo. Lahat ng bagay na pamilyar sa iyo, and kinalakihan mo. Compared sa laro na iyon na virtual lang... and everyone in it is virtual. Naiintindihan mo ba?"

"Hindi! Lahat ng alam ko nandoon sa mundo na iyon. Yung mga naging kaibigan ko... maging yung tao na..." I struggle to say the words. "Maging yung tao na pinili kong mahalin... Wala sa kanila ang hindi totoo. Lahat sila, lahat-lahat, totoo!"

"(Y/N)!" He calls my name sharply this time, holding my arms to stop me. "Kapag di mo natapos yung laro sa mundo na iyon, magpapatuloy yung laro dito!"

I stare at him, curious and unaware. "A-Ano?"

Gregory sighs heavily and slowly releases me from his grip. "Now that it's come to this, wala na akong maitatago sa iyo." He opens the door for me. "Mag-usap tayo sa labas."

I didn't hesitate to follow him. He ushers me out first before he does, closing the door to my room behind him. I am surprise to find that a hot tea is already waiting for us on our dining table, and with another usher of his hand, I follow to sit on the chair opposite to him. He serves the two of us with tea first as silence enveloped the two of us.

After a few minutes and him finally taking a sip, he answers, "Actually, I'm not a part of this world."

Hmm? Alien ka? I almost ask him but continue to remain quiet and keep such thoughts within me.

He gulps in hard and explains, "Ang ibig kong sabihin is... I come from the "real" world. Katulad lang din dito pero in a much further time. To be honest, a thousand years from the future compared to here. Our people have unparalleled scientific technology. My father is a scientist specialising in game development. The games he had created were all role-playing games that allow players to feel as if they are part of the game. Kagaya lang ng naranasan mo. My brother and I have also carried on his work, and Revolución Filipina... ang unang laro na dinesign naming dalawa."

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