Shivika: Will love blossom again?

42. Mind v/s Heart

Once Anika entered her room, everything seemed to be new to her. Closing the door behind her, she leaned to it and slumped to the floor. She didn't expect that Shivaay could confess his feelings to her. She is still re-remembering the moment where he had confessed those three magical words. She was still feeling his touch and the way he hugged her like he never wanted to break apart from her and the way he explained everything so smoothly. She remembered his words, 'Shivaay Singh Oberoi kisi ko explanations nahi deta hai' . Now the same person cleared all her doubts without uttering a word. He didn't even misunderstand her when she was complaining to him about him. She could feel honesty in his eyes. Is this person in front of her the real him like he said? What happened to that tadibaaz who always wanted things to go in his way?

How did this person change so much? The same person had claimed her as a characterless woman in the past. She till now remembers the day he had accused her when he misunderstood about Daksh. That man who had an inclination towards middle class people and the way they live is now completely a different person. The Shivaay she knew was a impatient person. He never waited for anything. He needed perfection in everything. Whether it be handling a million crore project or cooking for his family. He brings the best of anything he does. And she did see this quality in him.

He can go for complete extremes. She had seen the way he is with his brothers. She had seen a loving brother in him. He loves Omru more than the love she has for Sahil. She had seen a responsible son and an efficient businessman in him. Handling such a big empire is not a cakewalk. Yet he proved himself. She had seen a monster in him. The way he sent her to jail, the way he claimed her as a road side trash, gold digger. And the biggest proof of the monster in him was the way he married her. Same person with hundreds of shades in him. But doesn't know why and how she had fallen for him in the past despite his rude behavior.

And thinking of Shivaay's behavior from the past 3 months was completely different. She remembered how she met him during Payal's wedding. At that point she didn't want him to enter her life again. She didn't want to spare a glance at him. Then the way she was kidnapped and the way he rescued her. He had taken care of her like a baby. She will never doubt the way he cared for her. He is completely patient towards her now. She remembered the day he tied the nupital chain she returned to him in the past. He had said that he was waiting for this day when he will tie the chain to her. He respected her independence and privacy. She had misunderstood him regarding the loan matter and yelled at him for no reason. He was not at fault back then. Though he showed a bit of anger, he later came back to her understanding her point of view. He always considered her above himself. And the best example of it was the way he tried to argue with Tej regarding their visit to Canberra. She will be always thankful to him the way he had consoled her when she let her pain out regarding their baby.

Everything was very confusing about him. And thinking about his confession few minutes before was giving her more confusion. What did she think of and what happened actually? She had questioned about his feelings for her but never thought he would confess his feelings. The way he answered all those questions like he was talking to a child made her smile.

Heart: Soch kya rahi hai tu? Admit that you also love him!

Mind: But how can you love him after what all had happened? What if he again asks you to leave you?

Heart: He will never because he had changed himself for you! He had also confessed that he no longer believes in naam, khoon, khandaan.

Mind: Okay, I agree that! But what if someone comes in the future and blackmails Shivaay to leave you?

Heart: That won't happen. He himself had promised that come what may, he will never leave you. At that point he was helpless. He had to save Om at that point.

Mind: Exactly! If tomorrow he had to save someone from his family, will he again think about you?

Heart: At that time you don't know that Shivaay was helpless. If in future Shivaay is any trouble won't you help him? Won't you stand with him? Okay, answer this question..After leaving Oberoi Mansion and Shivaay's life in the past, why did you still help him? You proved Tia, Swetlana wrong in front of everyone. Why did you do that? You itself had left him then why did you help him? There was no need for you to help him but what's the reason? Wasn't it because of the love you have for him?

Mind: At that point, you love him. So you helped him.

Heart: If you remember what's the first quality in him that attracted you towards him is the way he cared for his family. You even stood by Shivaay's side when Oberoi family came to know how Shivaay forcefully married you. Omru talked to Shivaay and sought out the matter because of you. And when he took a step for protecting his family, won't you understand him? Always complaining about others is a wrong thing. You also have to understand others situation like Shivaay is doing now. You have to reduce the distances between you both.

Mind: When he had left you, you knew what happened to you. Are you ready for another heart break if Shivaay again tries to leave you?

Heart: He won't leave you and fix this point in mind. Love means giving the ability to the other person to destroy your soul but trusting them not to do that. And love gives you strength. Give him a chance to enter your heart Anika! You can't deny the fact that you trust him now. And why were you smiling all the while when he confessed his feelings to you? Why were you waiting for him to talk more and more about his love for you? You love him already!

Anika: Stop it! Please stop it!

She covered her ears with her palms to stop hearing to those voices. Both were right at their places. She left to the washroom and splashed water on her face. Changing into nightwear, she moved towards the balcony attached to her bed room and looked at the moon.

*****

Next morning,

Anika was preparing coffee for herself. She was so lost in her thoughts that she over boiled milk and it spilled out. She came out of the thoughts when she felt someone pushing her. It's then she saw Shivaay switching off the stove.

S: What happened Anika? You over boiled milk..Thank God you are fine? Did your fingers burnt by any chance? Show me..

A: Shivaay..I am fine. Just that I was thinking something and lost..

Understanding her, he pecked her forehead and made her to sit on bar stool. He again started to prepare coffee for her and she was lost in him.

S(giggling): After many days I got a glimpse of old Anika who always burns food!

She was silent. Moving towards her, he cupped her face.

S: You are fine?

A: Hmm..

S: Aisa nahi lagta hai..Just fresh up and come here...I am going to prepare your ever favorite aloo puri!

She tried to say something but he glared. After having coffee, she left to her room. Shivaay prepared breakfast meanwhile. After Anika got ready she too helped him and arranged the table. Both of them had it and Anika was staring him all the while. Confusion was clearly visible on her face. She wanted him to talk to her. She needs his help to come out of this confused feelings. Shivaay understood what's running in her mind. He will help her, he thought.

Both of them moved towards main door but Shivaay turned back. He slowly cupped her face. She looked into his eyes. His kanjee eyes were proving the love he have for her.

S: I know you are confused whether to believe me or not Anika..Don't take stress for anything. We will sort it out together..And Anika it's not a compulsion that you also have to love me back because I love you! Because none can control their feelings. But please be you! At the end what matters is your happiness. Ask yourself are you happy or not! Whatever step you take, don't forget that I am with you!

Saying this he pecked her forehead and moved to his car. Anika looked at him in a daze.

Will you still say that the feelings he have for you is a lie? He really loves you Anika and take a step forward. You won't be restless when you listen to your heart!

*****