More Than Lucky ~A One Direction Fanfic~

Chapter 27 Home is where the heart is

**Jackie's POV**

I can't believe it.

I admitted it.

I tried again.

Not once.

Twice.

I stormed out of the room not knowing what to do. Tears streaming down my face. I promised her. I promised mum that'd I'd never do it again, but I still did. I betrayed her. That word hurt.

Betray.

Betrayal.

I ran out into the waiting rooms. All the people's attention turning to me. They probably thought that I got the news that mum had died, but the only thing that died was the trust she had for me. How could I? Well, it was just after I ran away.......stop it! I still did it twice. I heard calls after me, but I ignored them. I saw Jordan with a nurse and ran to him. I picked him up in my arms and sat down on one of the chairs. He hugged me and I hugged him back, just as tightly. My dearest little brother. How could I have been so selfish?

"Jackie, what's wrong?" Jordan asked me. His little eyes looking worried.

"It's nothing you have to worry about, Jordan. I promise you that." There was that word again. Promise. Something I had broken and was trying to mend.

"C'mon, let's go to mummy!" Jordan said and pulled me to mums room. I felt really bad. When Jordan opened the door we saw mum on the bed. She was just laying there. A single tear running down her face.

"You promised." She said, not looking at me. It made me feel worse.

"I know." I mumbled, walking over to her bed with Jordan. "Jordan, why don't you get mummy's present?" I said. He quickly hopped out of the room. I made sure he was out of hearing distance.

"Mum, please! It was just after the first time! I'm better now! The thought hasn't crossed my mind in months!" I pleaded, trying to make her forgive me.

"Jacqueline! How could you! You're all Jordan has! How will I be able to trust you when I'm gone?" Pain. Pain was the only emotion in her eyes.

"Don't say that!" I raised my voice, tears still flowing heavily down my face.

"Say what?" She didn't understand? She didn't understand that her reference made me feel even more depressed?

"Say 'when you're gone'! You won't go! You're gonna make it! You're gonna be okay!" I'm sure panic was a clear emotion in my voice and eyes.

"Jackie," she paused. Taking a breath. "I'm not going to make it."

That was it. I bet you could hear it. That was the moment. That was when my whole world came tumbling down. I knew she was sick, but I didn't know the news would come so soon. I thought at least a couple years.

"Hope."

"What?" I said snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Hope, it's what you need. That and faith. Have a little faith in yourself, have some hope for your brother." Her words didn't sound like they were from someone who had been betrayed. They were kind, and they gave me just that. Hope.

"Just because I'm gone doesn't mean you don't have a life and the same goes for your brother. If you can't save him, then help him, treat him kindness and love. He takes enough hate for all of us."

"I'll take care of him." I said, my breathing uneven from my sobs. "I won't let him destroy Jordan." I never call him by his name. EVER.

"Good." Mum put a weak smile on her face. Jordan came skipping in through the door with the present in his hands. We'd made it together. It was a collage of pictures of him, mum and me, all in black and white. We made it ages ago, when I was in Kent last, which was before I met Inez and Laura.