The Road to Bethyl {Slow Updates}

Absent or Present?

After we stopped a little while ago, we started to make a small camp with our personalized alarm system using cans and wire hung up around the perimeter of the place. We do this everyday for about 4 days every night when we stop.

But we now sit in silence. We always do. I find ourselves doing that a lot ever since it's just been me and him. I mean, we didn't have hour long conversations every afternoon back at the prison but then again, we didn't completely ignore each other either..

I decide to break the fragile object between me and Daryl. Silence.

"Alright. It's only a couple hours until dawn. If we move now, we will be able to get more ground covered today." I almost start to kick out the small fire we have created out here when I realize he is practically gone.

Daryl has been staring into that fire as if it will burn his eyes along with the things he has seen. He is in his own world and has been for who knows how long. I realize one of my worst fears have come true; I am alone. This sends uncomfortable chills down my spine. I decide to speak up once more. "Um.. Daryl..?"

There is no response from the man sitting across from me, eyes engulfed in the flames.

"I'll just go then," I say as I get up from my seat. I'm just going a short distance though, about 20 yards in hiding. I don't think I could leave someone out here by themselves in that state. Especially not Daryl. This is testing if Daryl will react to my disappearance, if he cares enough about anything to survive. I'm testing if Daryl is present or absent from this hell hole we call 'life'.

About 2 minutes later, I hear a snap of a twig behind me. I turn, knife in hand, ready to plunge it into whomever or whatever posed a threat. But what I find poses no threat, at least to me. I see Daryl standing a good 8 feet behind me with his crossbow loosely in his grasp.

I try to think of something to say. Come on, Beth. Anything. He starts to break eye contact. cOME ON. ANYTHING¿

"..Y-you followed me.."

Are you serious.

Way to state the obvious! Now Daryl will never talk to you and he's all you've got. Nice going, miss awkward.

"Well, yeah. Somebody's gotta look after you." He spoke to me, & I have to admit, I kinda missed his voice, even when all he did was boss me around.
He's looking after me. I take a little offense to this.

"I can take care of myself just fine, for your information."

"Yeah. Okay.." he mutters. He begins to walk ahead and rolls his eyes.

"I can, and it seemed like I took care of YOU when we were out there." I think I am going to regret ever stating that.

"Oh, is that what you think? You were saving my ass?!" he exclaims as he stops us in our tracks to address this subject. It is just starting to become lighter outside as dawn comes around. With this volume, the walkers should be rallying in any time now.

"I could have survived on my own just as well as I did with anyone else around! I always do! I survive, and I live, always. Because that's all I need to do anymore."

"Living and surviving are different things, Daryl. You don't have to be one of the walking corpses to be dead, you just have to quit."

This seems to take him back a bit as he replies, "Quit what, exactly?" He looks at me with a concerned look on his face, waiting for my response.

"You quit trying. You quit this world. And you quit yourself."

Daryl looks at me with a smirk on his face, thinking I am naive and like I don't know anything of this new world.

"Well, does this type of 'dead' have a cure?"

I never thought about this, but I know I have to respond so I don't regret this conversation with Daryl. I need to prove I'm not naive. I'm not young and dumb anymore.

That's it! Back when I was young! I used to cut and attempt at taking my life. How did I get over that, again..? Come on, Beth. Think.

"As long as you let this messed up world take who you are, you're dead and no one can revive you but... you."

Daryl wears a blank face now. He didn't expect an answer like that from someone he labeled as 'young and dumb'. I don't think he expected an answer at all.

The walkers started to get in more and more audible range since we stopped a while ago. Daryl and I move forward through the forest. Of course, the one conversation I have with the man and it breaks out into an argument.

I start thinking about the argument more as we get settled at our next temporary camp. At least we both learned something out of it. Daryl finally learned I am not 'young and dumb' but responsible and mature. I although found the answer that has been gnawing at my mind since the two of us became partners in this apocalypse.

Daryl is Present.