The Road to Bethyl {Slow Updates}

The Night of the Nightmare

I wake up by hearing a sound. This sound is familiar. The particular sound is the one haunting my dreams. This sound is the gargling of flesh and blood in the throat of a walker. Fabulous wake up call, don't you think?

My eyes open to the familiar noise. I sit up and look around me to absorb my surroundings. What time is it? Where is the walker? Am I in danger? Where is Daryl? Is he safe? All this and more, you have to register in your mind in an instant.

It's a little past 4 in the morning. Daryl is right beside me, lying down still. I am safe. He is safe. I look around again and attempt to search the darkness with the anxious eyes again. Then I finally realize, the man beside me is not Daryl. This creature is a hungry, dead version of him.

I try to back away, but he grabs my ankle and goes to take a chunk out of my flesh. I see my knife a foot away and scramble to pick it up. With my knife in hand, Daryl at my heel, I have a clear shot that could save me life. I raise my arm, about to end the creature, when I throw the knife down and start to drown in my own tears.

I can't do it.

I can't harm this man who is emotionally (and mentally) damaged for possibly the rest of his life. Even if he is a walker! I can't harm the former man that I cared for and trusted with my life. I then feel the creature's teeth against the skin of my leg and my eyes snap open.

I take in a huge gasp as I sit up in one swift motion. Daryl quickly awakens out of his sleep when he hears me. It is only about 2 in the morning. He immediately looks at me, eyes full of bewilderment and maybe fear of what his eyes would find.

"It was just a nightmare," I say. I go to wipe the loose hair from my ponytail out of my mouth and find streams of tears going in different directions across my face.

Daryl's eyes ease and he gently nods as he turns his body over in his former position on the ground. Some part of me wonders if he's disappointed that I'm still alive. I lay back down and try to clear my head. I then hear a little movement from across the small camp which means Daryl is flipping or turning over. I dismiss this and continue to try and sort out my thoughts.

My ears then hear something. Unlike in my dream, it is something I would have never thought I would hear. This something is the voice of Daryl Dixon caring.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

I cannot believe this. Somehow, I broke through a wall! Just, how do I know this is genuine..? He might be mocking me like the kids at school used to.

"Do you really care?" I call back to him, not moving. There is some silence and hear the man say a subtle, "Well, Yeah.."

I sit up and turn towards him, but I don't look up. We sit there a moment like this. Then, I hear him add on to his answer.

"Was it 'bout the prison? Maggie?" he pauses, "Your dad..?"

I choke up on his question. How am I supposed to tell Daryl I forgot about the whole group and my family and had a nightmare about losing HIM. Our eyes finally meet and we hold this stare for a good while. I force my head to shake to indicate 'no'. He looks at me with a concerned face. I'm sure he's wondering what nightmare has replaced the usual one of reality.

I finally get the courage to say a simple answer that would explain it all. The word almost creeps out of my mouth, "You."

Daryl's unreadable eyes dart to my own. "And..?" he replies, safely pushing on for more details.

"I woke up and you were a walker. You were going to bite my ankle. I had a knife in my hand, ready to defend my life, when it hit me," I stare into his eyes to make sure he hears me and my response in the moment right now, "I threw down the knife and started to cry."

Daryl's brow furrows and he looks at me confused and worried.

"I couldn't hurt you, Daryl. I couldn't do it, even if you were one of them, even to save my own life," I explain and almost yell at him.

His posture droops and his arms about go limp. The eye contact breaks and I hear him mutter, almost too quiet, "Oh, Beth.."

I curl up in a ball, to where my forehead is resting on my knees. I then start to cry. Man, I am sick of crying. I just can't help it. I was so scared to tell him and his reaction, but now I realize he doesn't have a reaction, to barely anything. I guess that's the thing that gets me most. He might not even care.

I am startled by an arm going around my shoulder. I look up and Daryl's face is hidden from me by his large hand. I didn't hear him move; My sobs must have drowned out his noise.

"Oh, Beth.." he repeats, but this time it is more strained. Is Daryl crying? The thought runs through my head and I quickly dismiss it. "I care for you too. I'm supposed to protect you.." he says. He is crying.

"You were right, yesterday. I wouldn't'v been living. I would have been.. mentally dead. So, uh, thank you for putting up with me and.. and being here, Beth. For not giving up. For not losing hope in me." He sounds choked up once more and wipes his still hidden face.

"After our dad..." he pauses. "He was a great man, who didn't deserve that shit."

I sit in silence, giving him the chance to talk. I would do anything for him to talk like this all the time.

"No matter what I do, I can't stop good people from dyin'. Hershel is gone yet I'm here. Doesn't make sense, ya know?"

I don't respond. Mainly because I don't know what to say. He is finally grieving over the prison, over my father, over any or everyone who died in the process of fleeing from the Governor.

After a minute, he lifts his head and we make eye contact once again. I lean over and hug him with out even thinking of who this is. Or maybe I'm thinking too hard of who this is. This man needs me, whether he realizes it or not. Even if I am just a girl in his eyes.

Not long after I sling my arms around him, he does the same, just not as powerful. We stay in this embrace for a short while. All I can say is, "Oh, Daryl.."

When we separate, we lay down and close our eyes, not worried of our distance between the two of us, which was about 2 inches. We then drift off to sleep side by side and go the rest of the night nightmare-less in each other's closer-than-ever presence.