Unspoken (Sebastian Vettel Fanfiction)

deserving of you // 30

It had been almost four weeks since she walked the track with Sebastian, four weeks since he made his feelings clear to her. It was the moment that was support to change everything, but instead, she walked away. She chose to stand by Nate, to focus on his surgery and recovery. 

Hungary was the last race before the sport would have a four-week break. But while the rest of the team were busy planning their summer breaks, Darcey was organising the dates in her calendar for Nate's appointments. A bitter flashback appeared as she entered the location of the surgery, the first time she stepped foot in that wing was with her father. And then again for the last time without him.

She lost a lot to cancer that year, her father, her childhood and her boyfriend. 

It was a painful process trying to forget those particular brown eyes, to forget his smile, the way his nose creased when he laughed. She never imaged she'd be here today with him, but now, as they both stood staring at each other as if someone had paused time.

"Shouldn't I be the one who's nervous?" Nate laughed as he watched Darcey pace back and forth for what felt like the hundredth time. "Everything's going to be okay, don't-" He began.

"Don't tell me not to worry, because I'm going to do that anyway." Darcey sighed, as she sat down beside him in the hospital bed. Nate doesn't know what to exactly feel because it looks like Darcey's feeling all of those feelings at once.

He sat in his blue gown, ready to go into theatre for what was suppose to remove the brain tumour which had regrown. He was acting like it was a simple snip and done job, she feels angry that he's sitting in front of her right now and he looks completely okay. That he looks completely fine.

"You don't have to be so brave you know?" She smiled, trying to shake off the feelings of anger.

"There's nothing 'brave' about me. Bravery implies a choice. Someone who lays down their life to save another human being is brave. I didn't choose to be affected by cancer and I don't believe being placed on the courage pedestal is going to help me right now" Nate stated, his voice cracking towards the end as he took a sharp exhale. "I'm tired of being afraid." He finished.

"Fear is good. Fear makes you stronger." Darcey held his hand, squeezing it too.

"It makes me want to throw up." Nate chuckled as closed his eyes, trying to distract himself from the pain. It came in waves and was like a headache at first but was growing stronger with each day. Somedays he struggled to get out of bed it was that bad. 

Darcey took a deep breath, overcome by emotions that threatened to tear her apart again, as she cut her eye contact with him and looked away.

"You don't have to be here you know? I understand if it's too hard for you" 

"I'm not going anywhere" Darcey jolted in her seat, shaking of her emotions from moments ago and replaced them with this sternness. He was not going to run away from her again, they were going to get through this together.  Even though things have changed, she still loved him. "I'm going to be with you every step of the way." She smiled, sharing a tender moment where they both felt thankful for whatever brought them back together. 

"I don't deserve you" He whispered

"I know" Darcey smirked, teasing her friend which helped them forget where they were for a moment in time. 

"After everything, I wouldn't have blamed you if you wanted nothing to do with me" Nate spoke. "I was a coward before, I realise that now"

"All that counts is here and now." Darcey hushed, the memories too painful to get into. Seeing Nate again after all these years it was like her heart was beginning to mend, they were rebuilding their friendship into something she could imagine lasting for a lifetime. When she looked back on their time together, she no longer saw betrayal and hurt. Finally the closure she needed.