The Mafia Have Feelings Too (ManXman) {BDSM}

Chapter 7 - Therapy

Damian's pov
Monday 3rd May 2021
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I still hate talking with Orion but Marcus threatened me so I had to come.

"Have you had anymore suicidal thoughts" he asks.

"No," I answer.

"Don't lie, have you had any suicidal thoughts?"

"A few, but nothing bad."

"Elaborate," he says as he scribbles on his notepad.

"I don't know, just guilt again. I shouldn't be here," I say and Orion waits for me to keep going. "It's just so unfair that Marcus went through so much worse than me and I didn't stop it from happening. He got terrible scars while I'm totally okay. I was supposed to keep Marcus safe and I put him in danger by banning Adrian from my club."

"What would you have done differently?"

"I'd have kept Adrian at the club, then at least I could have kept an eye on him."

"But didn't Adrian want you to become his submissive? How would that have worked?"

"I'd have told him no but that we could stay friends."

"You know Adrian would never have taken no for an answer."

"I could have tried."

"You know it wouldn't have worked. Two things could have happened, either you accepted to become Adrian's slave consensually and Marcus was okay, or you kept saying no and Adrian abducted you both anyways to force you into submission. You have to realise there was nothing you could have done, Adrian was always going to be jealous of yours and Marcus' relationship."

I look away from Orion and don't answer him. His logic is making my brain hurt. I know I could have stopped it from happing, but now I can't think of what I'd have done.

"Do you still have the same suicide plan? Wait until Marcus doesn't need you anymore?" Orion asks when he realises I'm not going to talk about that anymore.

"Yeah," I say with a sigh.

"Well nothing else is going to change with Marcus' life. He's over the bad times now but if you've noticed, he still needs you. Which means he always will need you. That means you'll never have the opportunity to kill yourself like you were expecting," Orion explains.

I take a moment to think as my mind tries to gather what he's just said. Marcus still needs me now but he won't in the future. Will he?

"So... I'm waiting for something that won't ever happen?"

"Exactly, which means I don't think you can try to kill yourself again. You still need help to get over your guilt and suicidal thoughts, but I think this is a breakthrough you needed."

"I'll always have a reason to keep going because Marcus will always need me," I say as I look down at my hands.

"That's right. Now think of more reasons why you have to stay here," he says.

"I don't know," I say but Vinny comes to mind.

"I can see you thinking," Orion pushes.