You're Always In My Heart

Chapter 35

“Kath..”

“Kath..”

She blinked and shifted her gaze from the empty chair in front of her to her father.

“I said, do you want some viand with that rice of yours?” he eyed her worriedly.

Kath frowned and looked down her plate. She was unconsciously playing with her rice for almost a minute or two since they started dinner.

“Are you okay?” DJ, who sat beside her, whispered.

She thought for a minute then gave a small nod before excusing herself from the table. It has been a while, she thought. She hasn’t seen nor heard from Quen since the last time they met. And she agreed that it was probably the worst way to end a relationship with someone she loved so much. Why did she even have to let him go? Why did she have to hurt him like that? It’s for the better, her mind replied. But is it? She had been spacing out a lot recently. She hasn’t been eating well and even though DJ kept her accompany, she felt lonely. She was lonely. Something was just missing. Someone was missing. Feeling frustrated upon seeing the empty chair in front of her at dinner did not surprise her. Her emotions have been dying to well up but she did her best to push them deeper. And pushing them deeper meant hurting herself more. Everything was right but it felt so wrong.

She found herself walking towards the beach. She hasn’t really decided on going out but her pair of a feet had a mind of its own. Walking a little further, she found the tree stump where she and Quen used to hang out and just stare at the magnificent waves.

“Don’t go in there. Don’t go—“ But all it took was five steps and she was already hovering above the stump.

“Well that worked,” she breathed out as she hesitantly sat down and stared out into the sea. The moon shone brightly and the stars did their best to twinkle through the blanket of darkness. Waves were crashing through the shore leaving ripples as they retreat into the sea; crickets were singing along the rustling of the wind against the trees—it was such glorious scenery and it would have been better if Quen was with her. That thought she denied. And will continue to deny, only inside her mind. How long will she keep on denying everything? Quen? Her feelings? And the distraught her recent dreams about the accident has brought? What better to do with confusing dreams than to supress it, right?

“I’m only putting things into my mind,” she forcibly thought.

Kath drew her knees to her chest and hugged them as if they were as fragile as her heart. Memories about the accident drowned her as she buried her face onto her knees. And she saw him, just right in front of her. His warm brown eyes boring into her soul, reminding her how tight a grip she had on him, how that serene and apologetic stare seemed like it would have been the last one. What was Quen doing in her reverie? Why was he there?  Like what I said, I’m only putting things into my mind. Did she miss him that much to the extent of casting him into her miserable accident? She took a sharp breath and lifted her head when she felt something move beside her, expecting it to be him.