You're Always In My Heart

Chapter 39

Stay by Sara Bareilles

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   Her eyes were red and dark circles have appeared underneath them. Her face was pale and seemed hollowly stricken. She wore a hospital cap, gown, and mask as she stood outside the ICU, his room. The drive from her home to this place made her feel weak. She didn’t remember donning the garbs she’s in right now She didn’t remember walking her way in front of the room. She didn’t even remember opening the door and walking inside. All she remembered was him—with all the tubes attached to him. Bloody bandages wrapped around his head and arms. His face was pale like hers. And she remembered breaking down as she sat beside his bed. She didn’t remember who came with her. She didn’t remember who came in and out of the room. She didn’t remember anything the nurses told her. She only remembered his face. And it pained her to realize that this was not how Quen looked like. There were no bruises. No swelling. No bleeding. No tubes. And there was no beeping of the mechanical ventilator attached to him. If only she could choose to switch her dreams to reality and reality to dreams. But right now, she seemed too stunned to even let everything sink in. She just had remembered him. Why?

“Quen…” she heard herself crying as she held his cold hand in hers.

“You said you will come back. You said that.” She couldn’t seem to find her voice anymore. Her tears staining her face. The beeping of the machine was annoying her but it was the only thing keeping her husband alive.

“Don’t do this to us, Quen. Don’t do this to me. I need you, Quen. I need you.” She tightened her grip on his hand. She felt a squeeze on her shoulder. She didn’t even remember she had  company. She didn’t turn to see who it was. She didn’t want to waste a second not seeing Quen’s face.

“You will wake up, okay? You will. Because I will not let you sleep forever. Never. It’s either you wake up or you forget me. But you will not sleep forever, Quen. I’m sorry I won’t let you do that,” Her heart constricted. She was drowning again. And the only person who can help her was drowning down with her. Another wave of guilt, sorrow, and pain washed over her as she cried her eyes out. Weren’t she just excited and happy to see him just a few hours ago? Weren’t she just longing for his presence and touch a few hours ago?

“It’s good that you are here, Mrs. Gil.  Your husband lost a lot blood. He went into shock. We have transfused 5 bags of blood but we can’t say it’ll do him better. We need more transfusions. We have to be honest with you. He might not make it tonight. His body is weak and we will try our best to save him. Nonetheless, we have to prepare for whatever might happen. We’re really sorry to tell you this.” The doctor regretfully said as he watched Kath in sympathy.

“Please, you have to save him. I can give him my blood.” She pleaded desperately.

“What’s your blood type?”

“Type B.”

“I’m sorry but your husband is Type O and he can’t receive any blood except for Type O itself.”

“I’m Type O. Can I donate my blood?” DJ inserted.

Kath turned to him. She didn’t know DJ was with her. He must have been there for a long time and she didn’t even notice. The doctor shifted his glance from her to DJ and nodded.

“Come with me. We have to run some tests on you before we can transfuse him with your blood. Mrs. Gil, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me or the nurses.”