Me. // Lashton

six

'Hello?', Ashton answered the phone, still breathing heavily. Luke kneeled on the bed, watching the drummer furrow his eyebrows. What did they just do?

'I.. uhm sure. It's pretty late though. Why did you call now?', Ashton said, looking at Luke and licking his lips. Luke bit his bottom lip, not sure what to do. Should he stay or should he leave? Before the blonde boy could think of an answer, Ashton had hung up. The drummer's eyes landed on Luke once again, who looked at Ashton aswell, a questioning look present on his face.

'It was Lucas..', Ashton explained and Luke found himself only nodding in response. For a minute, he had actually thought that the moment they had just shared wasn't some unrealistic dream. Of course Ashton still had Lucas and for the hell of it, Luke should love Sierra, but he didn't.
He didn't love her the way he should be and he hadn't missed her in the last few weeks. He hadn't craved her touch or had thought about her when feeling the lust, that made him feel guilty, build up in his body.
He hadn't been in a constant need for her, he had been in a constant need of his best friend. The best friend that made his heart race and the best friend that had an almost boyfriend, which meant he had other things on his mind. Luke wasn't Ashton's number one anymore and he probably would have to learn to accept that.

'He.. he asked if I could come over..', Ashton spoke up again, making Luke snap out of his deep thoughts.

'Oh', Luke just dumbly said, not being capable of forming a proper answer.
Ashton once again bit his lip, regretting two things at the same time. The first thing he regretted was giving in and kissing Luke, his best friend and the second thing was telling Lucas he would come over.
Ashton just hadn't been able to say no to a crying Lucas who had just found out that his family's dog had passed away.

'I should probably get going', Ashton mumbled, this time actually moving and getting up. Luke on the other hand still didn't move and started thinking of an excuse for Ashton to stay with him.

'I'm sorry.'
Ashton's soft voice was heard from behind Luke and only moments later, he could feel the strong arms of the drummer wrap around him. His back was pressed against Ashton's chest and he put his hands on top of his, before closing his eyes and letting his head fall back against Ashton's shoulder.

'Don't be', Luke whispered, but it was too quiet for Ashton to understand, even though you could probably hear a pin drop.
Seconds passed in which they stayed in that position, not moving an inch as they listened to each other's breathing. Without knowing it, both of their hearts had quickened their pace and were racing in the same rhythm, basically begging to not leave the other. But no matter what their hearts wanted, eventually Ashton let go and Luke let him leave, not daring to turn around and look after him.

He heard the drummer's footsteps in the distance and not long after that, the front door shut and the apartment fell silent. Now that Luke was alone, he finally turned around, looking at the spot where Ashton had stood only moments ago. The blonde boy brought his fingers up to his mouth, softly tugging at his bottom lip as his big blue eyes scanned the barely lit up room.
He swallowed thickly as he thought about what could've happened if Lucas' hadn't called, but that didn't matter now. Lucas had called and they had broke apart. Ashton had left and there was nothing Luke could possibly do about it.
With a sigh, Luke faced the bed again and crawled under the covers, burying his face in the soft pillows that smelled like the boy that still owned his heart and probably didn't even realize it.

A few tears slipped out of his eyes, not being able to hold them back anymore as he thought about the way Ashton would comfort Lucas. He would hold him tight and whisper sweet nothings in his ear, while Lucas would hide his face in the crook of Ashton's neck where he would silently cry.
Who would comfort Luke though?

The blonde sniffled, pulling the covers a little higher and curling into a ball. He wanted to forget about Ashton and stop worrying about feelings that weren't wanted anyway.
Luke knew that he had messed up his chance with Ashton, especially since Lucas came into the picture, causing Luke to dislike the red haired boy.
The fact that there was no reason to not like him made Luke even more angry and before he knew it, he stood infront of a couple of bottles.

'Old feelings need old habits to drown them in', Luke mumbled to himself as he took one of the bottles, opened it and took a few sips.

'I don't think I like me anymore. Please, someone tell me who I was before', he quietly sang, letting out a sad chuckle, 'I don't really like me anymore.'

While taking another couple of sips, he walked into the bathroom and sat down in the bathtub. Memories of Ashton and him having a good time haunted him and he took another sip. The alcohol ran his throat down, leaving it burn slightly but sadly, Luke was used to the feeling and didn't care anymore.
The only thing that mattered was his broken heart and the alcohol he tried to drown it in.