dreaming |fillie au|

|forty five|

|forty five|
blackout
same day : friday

Millie's POV

With the simultaneous tilt of our heads, our foreheads knocked together. After giggling into each other's mouths at the awkward connection, we pulled apart. Holding his eyes captive with mine, I wasn't able to read his stoic expression until both of our mouths tugged up into pursed lipped smiles. Then our lungs tensed from the sudden cackling laughter that erupted from the two of us.

It took several moments to recover from the burning fire in my abdomen and to cough out the rest of my hysteria.

I scrunched my eyebrows together and then finally spoke first, "That was a mistake."

"Oh, God. Yeah it was." He scratched his chin and wiped his smiling mouth.

"Can we please forget that happened?"

"Yes, please." He replied while his shoulders shook, still laughing a little.

"And we never talk about this again, especially not to Finn."

"Obviously not. He would fucking murder me."

"He would hate both of us." I agreed. It would be a miracle if he would have ever forgiven us, even more so in his drunken haze. He hasn't been sober for weeks. If he had woken up one day without a bottle of liquor or pills next to him to drown his memories, he could mistake the day for two weeks prior. He's lost so much time and will never get it back.

"Besides, it doesn't matter."

"Agreed. It was a huge mistake."

"Right." Our laughter died down completely at that point.

It was nice to be honest with each other about the predicament without hurting the other's feelings.

Sure, Jack was there for me in a time when Finn was absent, but there was no one who could fill that empty hole in my heart except for my only love. Finn was the medicine to every illness, especially heartache. The one who transports me away from every troubled history and hot tear.

We just need to give him time to grieve and heal. And that's the least I can give him when he won't accept anything else from me. I'll give him anything he needs to get better and get over this pain in his life right now. Because I know Finn is still there, deep inside. He has to be and I'll be there for him when he breaks the surface of the waves. I can't lose faith. I love him. With all my heart.

•••

Finn's POV

Everything becomes mostly mundane when lines tickle up your nose and activate every neuron of your brain. But that was something I was not expecting.

An odd, foreign feeling pinched something deep in my gut before I visibly shook it off.

I used to suck those plump lips between my own and taste her sweetness. Those were mine. Well, not anymore. If she wants to sleep around, that's not my problem. Even if it happens to be with my old best friend.

I'm done dealing with people anyway, especially Millie's dramatic issues.

I was just about to invite Jack to tag along to a party with me when the four swinging legs caught my attention, before I even got out of the car. I drove off before I could see anything else. There was no need to stay for any longer and see where their kiss led.

•••

You think your life has already hit the deepest part of the abyss until you wake up face down in the cold dirt. Drops of morning dew licked each blade of grass as well as my sticky skin.