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The Worst Part About Festivals

Festivals: A time of celebration and merriment. 

More appropriately, Festivals: A day when guests come at short notice, expecting a feast to be laid for them. 

Yes, now that sounds good to me.

Indian relatives and guests are straight-up weird. This is their thought process:

I don't really feel like cooking today. I don't even have the required ingredients. Umm, what should I do...

 And a brilliant idea strikes them...

I'll drop by at Sharma's for a brunch. I'll just text them now that I'm coming. And for dinner, I will just visit Kulkarni's. Sorted for the day!

Well, that escalated quickly, didn't it?

Anyway, the best part about moms/aunts visiting is the subtle, passive-aggressive type 'Mom Wars'. Here's how they go..

"My son scored 92% in the exams"

"Oh that's good, but my son scored 92.5%" *moment of pride*

"My son is going to NASA"

"Oh, that's cute. My son just returned from Mars and is planning to visit Pluto next"

"My son was the one who said that Pluto doesn't belong in the solar family"

"Well, my son proved life on mars was possible, when he was free during his summer vacations"

"My son hangs out with Elon Musk during his free time"

"My son founded Google in his 30-minute lunch break"

"My son is also a pilot, he can drive without seeing"

"My son painted a masterpiece better than Picasso's, without using his hands"

And the mindless bragging goes on and on. It's actually kinda funny to listen. People get very creative during these rounds.

Once a mom said, "Well my son single-handedly managed the successful upgrade and deployment of a new environmental illumination system with zero cost overruns and zero safety incidents." All he did was changes the light bulb. Yes.

Anyway, I do believe guests look good. While walking away. 

The best part is when they give money. Mom says,"Don't give them money. It's not required." The guest says, "No, let me give it. She's my favourite niece". This cycle repeats for a few times until I finally receive my envelope, only to be taken away from mom and a 'promise' (fake) that she will give it to me whenever I want it. We all know that never happens!

I'll tell you what, sometimes the guest becomes so regular at coming to our house that they don't even get gifts anymore and it's very annoying. 

I ask, "Gift?" 

They say, "I am the gift."

Honestly, I don't think we say "Thank you" on receiving a gift. We say, "Hehe, uski kya zarura thi?"

Comment down below and tell me about your funny experiences with guests. I shall add them in the further chapter!:)