Please don't take offence. I respect doctors a lot. These are just jokes. Read, laugh and move on.
Doctor: I have bad news and very bad news. Which one do you want to know first?
Patient: Bad news?
Doctor: You only have 24 hours to live.
Patient: And very bad news?
Doctor: I was supposed to tell you that yesterday.
Doctor: What's your sunsign?
Patient: Cancer
Doctor: Oh, what a coincidence.
Doctor: This packet contains pills you have to take everyday for the rest of your life.
Patient: But doc, this packet has only 1 pill.
Doctor: ... Figure it out.
Surgeons after surgery and medical studennts after exams say the same thing: We did veerything we could. Now we have to just wait and see.
Patient: Doctor, my back hurts when I wake up in the morning. What to do?
Doctor: Wake up in the afternoon. Now that will be $100, thank you!
Patient: Doctor, it's been a month since my last visit and I still feel sick.
Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?
Patient: Yes doctor, I did. The bottle said 'keep tightly closed'.
Doctor: Agar aap isse ek ghante pehle laate toh hum isse bacha lete. Sorry.
Patient's Friends: Arre ek ghante pehle kase layenge agar accident he 15 minute pehle hua. Ab kya zabardasti ek ghante pehle uthake laate
Doctor: Sir, what's your blood group?
Father: B+ sir.
Doctor: Sir this is no time for joke. Your son is dying.
Patient: Doctor, why do some jokes hurt?
Doctor: Might be the strong punchline.
Doctor: Patient nuber 4432 ko hosh aya abhi tak?
Junior doctor: Kya!? Patient number 4432 behosh tha? mujhe laga mar gaya issliye meine post mortem karwa diya!!
Doctor: Everrything is absolutely fine with your husband.
Wife: All his MRI, CT Scans etc are good?
Doctor: Yes, perfectly normal.
Wife: Too bad, why don't you try something like post mortem to see what's wrong with him. I'll wait outside. (lol)
That's it for now.
Guys, comment down below and let me know your blood type. I know this might be the wierdest thing you ever might have to comment. I'm an AB+, which makes me a universal acceptor. So I'm pretty lucky in this case :) The fun thing is my parents are A+ and B+, I'm an AB+ and my younger brother is O+. So that's pretty cool I think.
Also, do you guys want more jokes on different professions?
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