Your birthday is actually your New year's day.
Knowing that you have next day off is actually more relaxing than the actual day off.
When you're happy, you hear the melody. When you're heartbroken, you hear the lyrics.
Some people's calculator history is worse than internet history.
Home is where water doesn't taste wierd.
Home is where wifi connects automatically.
If we removed all laws, crime rate would be 0%.
"Will Will Smith Smith?" Is a perfect question and "Will Smith Will Smith" is a perfect answer.
We would've done more for the environment by doing absolutely nothing.
If nobody hates you, you're doing something awfully boring.
Winter would be horrifying if snow was black.
The reason we stay up late is to not let our free time end and tomorrow to start.
Cheese has holes.
More cheese = More holes
More holes = Less cheese
Therefore, more cheese = less cheese.
Shoutout to the people who text you and apparently throw the phone into a river as soon as they hit send.
If your bank account could talk, what would it say? "Do you ever cook?"
A broken clock is right twice a day but a working clock could be wrong all day.
Everytime your room gets painted, it gets slightly smaller.
Sleeping is an 8 hour blink.
A pen is just a pencil for more confident people.
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Marvel, Hilarious Tweets and Fun Stuff!
HumorThis book has a compilation of the best tweets, comebacks, roasts, life theories, writing prompts and a lot of awesome stuff you won't regret reading!! Jump in right now!!
