Marvel, Hilarious Tweets and Fun Stuff!

Funny Definitions

School
A place where Parents pay and children play
Life Insurance
A contract that keeps you poor all your life, so that you can die Rich.
Nurse
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Conference Room
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
Father
A banker provided by nature
Criminal A person no different from the rest ....except that he/she got caught
Boss
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
Politician
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after
Doctor :
A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Smile
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc. :
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Atom bomb
An invention to end all inventions.