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Random jokes

They told me to stay away from people who say you're arguing even though you're just explaining your point of view.
Me: I live in their house.

Teacher: Aapke bachche ko kuchh nahi aata.
My parents: Tabhi toh school bheja hai na.. tu sikha na!

4 important things in a marriage:
1. Khaana
2. Naach gaana
3. Baraat aur masti
4. Ek naaraaz rishtedaar

People after I tell a joke: Ispe Hasna hai?
Me: Doctor ne bhi tumhare paida hone ke baad yahi kaha tha

Lady breaks a traffic signal. Lady: please let me go.. I'm a teacher, I need to reach the school.
Traffic police: Aaaahhhhhaaaaaa issi he din ka toh intezaar tha. Ab likho 100 baar 'I will not break traffic rules'

What do you call 2000 mockingbird?
2 kilomockingbird.
>> Drop an inline comment to let me know if you have read it! I've read it and it's a great book, do give it a shot!:)

Yaar zindagi tujhe mujhe nachaana hai toh macha but gaane dhang ke lagana!

I really need to change my 'Jo hoga so dekha jayega' attitude because ab jo ho raha hai voh mujhse nahi dekha ja raha XD

Me: Sir extra sheet!
Teacher: Arre abhi toh paper start hua hai! Abhi kyu chahiye
Me: Aansu pochhne ke liye

Pehle mein dukhi thi..
Fir mein Arijit Singh ke gaane sune..
Ab Zinda rehne ka man nahi hai 😂😂🤷🏻‍♀️🤣just a joke ha

Question. How bad are you in Punjabi songs?
Me : Oh jinne mera dil luteya ohi
Jinne meri jaan luteya oho
Lakh pddhfjgkdjsjsnjdnsnmsn oh nain nain

Question: how do I know it's a Punjabi song?
Me: I heard the words 'party', 'Daru', 'Masti' 'gaadi' Aur 'kudi' bus mein khush aur kya chahiye gaane mein 🤣

Me: I'm very angry guys mujhe bohot gussa aa raha hai
Friends: arre kya hua kya hua tension mat le..kya karne waali hai?

Me: Waqt ne mujhe barbaad kiya. Ab mein apna waqt barbaad kar rahi hu
🤣🤣

Boy: aapke kitne bhai hai?
Me: Aapko milaake teen
Boy: Oh to property mein se 25% mera na?
Me: sorry typo tha.. do he bhai hai
🤣

Boy: Nice do
Girl: thanks
Boy: you're looking good
Girl: thank you very much
Boy: the dress is very good
Girl: Thanks a lot
Boy: The make up looks good on you
Girl: Thank you so much bhai
Boy: For bhi kitni buri dikh rahi hai😠
🤣🤣😂😅

Rishtedaaro aur mere mein bohot aana jaana hai.
Woh jab aate hai, mei jata hu. Won jab kaate hai, tab mein vaapas aa hata hu.

I skip questions in exams like I'm gonna be a whole new person when I come back XD

There's a fine like between numerator and denominator. Only a fraction of people will understand this.

Did you know that 2*10 is the same as 2*11? One is twenty, the other is twenty too!!

Just because you're trash doesn't mean you can't do anything, you're a trash-can, not trash-cannot duh 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣😂 this is my life quote

If I wear a white shirt inside out, the entire universe would be wearing it except me.

Me: Doctor I'm scared of random letters.
Doc: You are?
Me: *screams*
Doc: Oh I see
Me:*screaming intensifies*

A girl and patience go on a day.
Patience pays.

She: I like south indian movies.
Me: Gharwaale mujhe 'Rajesh: The disappointment' kehte hai.

*In an exam hall*
Me: Sir I don't feel well.
Sir: kya ho raha hai?
Me: Pachhtawa

5 stages in a man's life:
Birth
Beta dhaniya le ao
Suniye dhaniya le aaie
Papa dhaniya le ao
Death

Why have abs when you can have kebabs?

Commentators in indian match:
Other countries: Team India. Men in Blue.
Indian: Kohli Ki Toli
😂🤣

American wedding: We need catering for a lot of people. How do we arrange?
Indian caterer: How many people?
American: Sir it's a lot actually. 120 people are coming.
Indian caterer to his assistant: Send a one tenth of Indian's catering team.

Batman points to his car: that's bat mobile
Batman points to his cave: that's bat cave
Batman points to his wallet: that's batua
>>Drop a comment if you understood in the first go. Comment some more bat man puns if you can!

Indian family loves and cares for everyone. Beemar ek hota hai, khichdi sab khaate hai

Office jaake kamai
Salary dekhke LMAO

Indian film industry us struggling because great actors are wasting their extra ordinary acting skills by excessively using tiktok.

Indians can do good in Olympics if science teachers stop borrowing games period.😋😝

Friend: so what's your plan?
Me: I'll have Chinese for lunch
Friend: No I mean long term.
Me: So like for dinner?🤷🏻‍♀️

Mom likes playing this game called ' Shouting name from the kitchen 4 rooms away and get upset when kids can't hear'. She's pretty good at it.😅

Police: Achha toh aapka bachcha ghum gaya hai.. theeke describe karo
Father: Not half as good as Sharma Ji's son.

Wedding cards are so elaborate and heavy but none of them have a menu so I can't decide whether to attend or not.. tough life 🤣🤣😂

Maza aaya chapter mein?