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*・゚゚・*:

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*・゚゚・*:.。..。.:*゚:*:✼✿✿✼:*゚:.。..。.:*・゚゚・*

   The water pours down, coating my brown hair that falls into my face and eventually drips down my entire body until every inch of skin is dowsed

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The water pours down, coating my brown hair that falls into my face and eventually drips down my entire body until every inch of skin is dowsed. Just like the water that drowns my skin, my racing thoughts drown my brain with no hope of rescue.

I feel like I'm drowning, and there's no one to save me- only more darkness to fall into.

Water encloses around me, no longer draining but filling up to my ankles. The liquid passes my calves and moves to my hips until eventually my head goes under, and the ceiling is threatening to cave in from the flood. With every quickened breath, the waves crash into me harder, filling the room faster and faster.

Only does the drowning feeling disappear when I finally stop choking back the tears and allow myself to sink to the shower floor in a heap with my knees curled to my chest and my arms wrapped around them. The water beating down on my head and curling down my back makes my chest heave with more anxiety as my eyes blink away the terrible hallucination of drowning that constricts my body.

But as I sit on the ceramic white floor and let the salt water tears mix with the fresh shower water, I start to wonder how much of the drowning feeling really is a hallucination and how much of it is my tired body finally giving out from all the weight it's holding.

As I continue to sob, body shaking with each breath becoming more difficult to take in than the last, I start to see visions playing against my closed eye lids that almost make me scream out, but then I remember Harry is just outside in our bedroom, so I dig my nails ferociously into my legs to stop myself, blood dotting the indentions.

I see Zayn suffering in similar ways to me right now when he finally reached his brink.

I see my mother struggling every day when mending her broken heart, all because she gave it away without keeping a sliver for herself. Or maybe the man she gave it to was too selfish with it, unlike Harry who has been nothing but what my mother wanted and deserved for herself.

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