Evanesce

Chapter 11

"Breakfast is ready, Miss. Hinihintay ka na po ng mga magulang mo."

"Susunod po ako. Salamat," I said weakly with a faint smile on my lips while looking at her through the mirror.

Today is the day that they've been waiting for. Ang araw kung saan tuluyan na akong legal. Ang araw na kinatatakutan ko. It's my eighteenth birthday and everything seems to be becoming heavy and constrictive as I continue to grow each day with the people I love.

Simula nang araw na iyon, wala na ulit naging paramdam si Rad even though I tried so many times to reach him and fix the mess that I've made unintentionally. Meanwhile, Van always stays by my side. Mas lalo lang tuloy akong nahuhulog.

Tumayo na ako mula sa kinauupuan ko para tumungo sa dining area. I saw my Dad and Mom sitting on their usual seats. Nagsisimula na silang kumain kaya mas binilisan ko na ang paglalakad ko.

"Good morning, Mom, Dad," I greeted as I put my bag beside my chair.

"Good morning, sweetheart," tugon naman ni Dad.

Nalipat ang tingin ko kay Mom bago maupo. Bahagya siyang nakayuko habang maingat at pormal na kumakain. She's always intense and demean as a person with honor and pride, reason why I couldn't get a hold of her as her daughter.

"Mornin'," she said casually without even looking at me.

Tuluyan na lang akong naupo at nagsimulang kumain ng tahimik at maingat.

"Coenraad will be here any moment now," I stopped from eating and look at my Mom only to find out that she's already looking at me seriously. "He wants to talk to you."

"I have class, Mom. Hindi po ba puwedeng ipagpaliban na lang muna? Besides, you're throwing a party for me tonight."

"You've been already excused for this day. Spend it with him."

"But, Mom, I don't want to be absent. I'm sure Rad will understand it."

"Are we going to fight over this small matter again?"

Napabuntong-hininga ako at napayuko na lang para makaiwas sa riin ng titig niya sa akin.

"No, Mom. Puwede po bang kahit half day lang?"

I need to see Van.

"Palagi mo na lang akong sinasalungat. You never done this before. I didn't raise you to be like this, Aislinn."

Napahigpit ang hawak ko sa laylayan ng palda ko sa ilalim ng lamesa. Hindi nga niya ako pinalaki sa gusto niyang maging ako kaya iyon ang nagtutulak sa akin para mas lalo akong sumalungat sa kanya lalo na ngayon na malaki na ako.

Yes, I don't want to disobey her, but I know how to make decisions for my life too. I know now how to use my moral principles properly. I don't want to have the deprivation they want just to put me in silence.

Then again, I don't have a choice but to keep it all just like what I've been always doing to avoid conflicts. I love them so much to the point that I'm willing to kill myself inside redundantly.

"Sorry po." Napayuko ako.

"Half day, it is."

Napaangat ang tingin ko kay Mom nang payagan na niya ako. Sumilay ang maliit na ngiti sa labi ko lalo na nang makitang nakahawak ang kamay ni Dad sa kamay ni Mom. Guess, he convinced Mom for me again.

"Thank you po."

Nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin ko sa kanila bago ulit nagpatuloy sa pag-kain. Nang matapos na ay wala pa rin si Rad kaya bumalik na lang ulit ako sa kuwarto para magbihis muna ng pambahay. Pagbalik ko sa sala ay siya namang pagdating ni Rad. I tried to give him a smile, but he just look away. Agad naman nawala ang ngiti kong iyon. He's still angry.