Solangelo 4

Part 42

NICO

I don't dream of anything. I don't relive Tartarus; I don't go back to that box. Everything is empty and I think of nothing. It's dark everywhere and I feel nothing.
And then, horribly and suddenly, I'm awake. My head is pounding and there's a woman checking up on me. A doctor who isn't Will.
'What's...' I look to my arm. There's an IV. I rip it out without second though.
'You can't-' the doctor starts but I ignore her. I stand up from the bed and stumble. Hazel is there to catch me.
'Hazel...what...' I look at her. Nothing is making sense. I can't think straight.
'Nico, you've got to sit down.' She says.
'Where is he?' I ask. My voice is low and I hear it break. Just for a moment.
'Nico.' She pleads.
'Where is he?' I yell. It's the only time I've ever raised my voice at Hazel. Tears fill my eyes but I don't cry. She stares at me, her lip quivers.
'Outside. Behind the building.' She says. She calls my name as I walk past her, but I don't turn around.
I'm outside, and it's blindingly light. I've never hated the sun more, never wanted it to be night more. The sun is Will's.
I move round to the side of the building, storming towards the back. Percy sees me first.
'Nico, you...' He starts, but I walk past him. Reyna and Annabeth stand there too, but I ignore them. I move past them all.
And there, weak and gaunt and cold, is Will. His eyes are open, he stares ahead. Bright sun burning into the reflection of his eyes.
His hands are limp by his side. His clothes are stained a deep red. His blood. From where I stabbed him. I killed him.
'I killed him.' I say.
'You didn't-' Reyna starts, but I turn to her and cut her off.
'I killed him. I killed him, don't try to convince me otherwise. It was me. With my dagger, and my hands and...and...' before I realise what's happening, I've broken down crying. Reyna takes me in her arms and comforts me, but I can't feel it. I can't see straight. I can't be here.
I pull away after a moment. She lingers, but let's me lean down beside Will. I try to dissolve into the shadows. I try again.
I turn to Reyna, to Percy.
'Why can't I shadow travel?' I ask.
'I had someone put a lock on you.' Reyna says.
'Like Dionysus, sort of.' Percy says.
'Tell them to turn it off.' I say, standing up and staring at Reyna.
'Nico, you can't sacrifice-' Percy starts.
'Tell them to stop!' I yell, 'I'm not...I can't...he's...I need him. I need him. Please. Please let me go.'
For the first time in my life I see Reyna cry. She doesn't make a sound, but tears fall from her cheeks. She's crying, undoubtedly.
'No, Nico.' She says, 'I can't let you.'
I turn to Percy for a moment. To Annabeth. I'm breathing heavily. Adrenaline courses through me. I turn to Will and pick him up.
'What are you doing?' Reyna asks.
'I'm walking there.' I say.
'What?' Percy asks.
'I'm walking to Hades.' I say again.
'Nico, you can't.' Percy says. I stop, turn to him and stare.
'Are you going to try stop me?' I ask. And he stays still. He watches me, waiting. No one says anything. I turn around and start walking.