𝑀𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠-𝑗ℎ✔️

𝐶ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑒𝑟 11: 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑜𝑛𝑙𝑦

⚠️Mention of Suicide and another triggering thing⚠️
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Jaden's Pov
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Bell wasn't at school all week. I was getting worried, I didn't want to bug her or seem like I was needy so I didn't bug her. I texted her once, I don't think she seen it.

I'm not a stalker or anything but this happens every year. She always disappears for a week, then comes back all quiet next week. Yes she is normally quiet but she never says a word, okay maybe i'm a stalker..

Anyways, I'm heading to the tree house. My parents decided to show up and visit today, they never do so they want something, which is fine but they act like we don't exist until they need something from us.

I sent Lilly to a friends and I'm just gonna crash at the treehouse, yes there's a little room there. I have some of my belongings in there and a bed, just for a hide out. Also it's nice to just get away from the world for awhile, so that's why I did that.

When I got there, I found a Bee. Not the insect, more like Bell. She was sitting there with her feet dangling under the railing, thinking. Deeply in thought, I could tell something was up.

I said hi and I sat next to her, in complete silence. For awhile we just smoked and sat. I didn't mind, it's what I would have done anyways, just extra company.

She ended up falling asleep on my lap. I knew Caleb wasn't home so she didn't drive here. It was one of the coldest nights of September yet. The air was crisp and cold. Too cold to stay outside today, so I did the only thing I knew, I took her home.

I brought her upstairs to her bed, setting her in her comforters because you could tell she was freezing. Only had a light jacket and sweats. You could also tell by her little red nose. It was bright red along with her cheeks, she honestly looked cute.

I took her jacket off, and I made sure she was settled. I didn't see her phone anywhere near her, I also didn't see it or feel it on her. Maybe she left it back there, I checked her jacket pockets before I did anything else.

I found a folded piece of paper.

It didn't have a name on it but it was folded, neatly, something unlike her.

I'm nosy, maybe it was something like a phone number or something silly, so I opened it.

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Dear Freak Boy,

The only way your reading this if I truly went through with my plan. I thought you'd come looking for something here of importance or just to think so I thought I'd put this for you to read.

I'm not the best human being in the world, never will be. I'm nothing more than a low life druggie who would be better off dead. I've tried to kill myself before, I really did but Caleb stopped me before I could. I just want to die, I really hope you understand.

If you don't, well then I'm sorry

I feel nothing more than emptiness, the kind that's deadly. The feeling of sadness expresses who you are as a person. I let my mind take over. Nothing will ever be good enough, even causing your own mother to die because of your actions.

I'm nothing more than a single leaf on an autumn day. Forgotten, unloved, invisvale

It just feels alone. There this world out there, where people everyday feel alive, I feel nothing. I feel like I have no one, I know I have no one.

I was nothing more to you, Freak Boy, then your messed up classmate you liked to pick one. I was a laughing joke to everyone, everyone but you.

I can't believe i'm saying this, you were the only person who made me come to school everyday. I've never told anyone that. You have me pleasure or hope or maybe, the word i'm looking for is attention

You made me feel like I was worth your time, anyone's time. You saw me and you cared enough about me to make fun of me, laugh at, annoy the fuck out of me.

To you, in my eyes, you were the only person who did my make me feel invisible

I was seen by you and only you, everyone envied that. You gave me a sense of what it feels like to be worth it something to someone, even if it is just a silly little game.

I don't expect you to miss me, I don't even miss myself. No one will, get over it Freak boy, your strong enough and smart enough to realize, I'm not nothing more than a kid who never had a shot.

I never will have a shot

Leave a message for Caleb and Charlotte. Tell them I love them, I truly do. I needed ease with the demons in my head. I needed to see the one person who loved me enough to kill herself for me. Keep fighting.

Also freak boy, i'll never forget how we got our nicknames. Take care of yourself, i'm nothing important.

This is my final goodbye.

love your one and only bee<3

Ps. If you ever meet a boy with baby blue eyes like the ocean, and he likes to write music, tell him I love him. After all, that's all it was, just a memory, and that's all it will ever be.

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