shine || ptg hui x (g)idle soojin

XXV : i'm here

"don't worry. there will be always a next time." hyojong tapped my back. i have been crying for almost an hour now after the final shoot ended. i wasn't expecting him to be eliminated. he did his best! i have witnessed how hard he practices each day! but how come he was eliminated?

the other members were in one corner, sobbing. pentagon won't be pentagon without hyojong, shinwon and yan an. it would feel very incomplete without them! how can we keep on going on if we aren't even complete? an irresistable bond was built within us since the day we met each other. and that bond won't be broken easily.

"the ceo wants to talk to all of you in the company. he's waiting for you there." i was taken aback when one of our manager tapped my back. as the leader of pentagon, i should be strong for all of us.

we all gathered up and made our way to the company. the atmosphere inside the van was filled with sorrow and sadness as the three eliminated members were with me and jinho. hyojong was sitting beside me, jinho is sitting in the shotgun seat while shinwon and yan an are sitting in the back.

"no matter what happens, pentagon will debut as 10, not 7." i looked at the three of them and they smiled slightly. that was quite a small relief, seeing them smile despite the situation they're facing right now.

"i already have heard the news. kim hyojong, go shinwon, yan an, i know that the three of you worked so hard for this show. you have the talent, potential and the looks but it maybe wasn't enough for the audiences. someday, you will finally have what you have been aiming for. sad to say, pentagon will only debut with 7 members and that is fixed."

everyone started sobbing as what the ceo said. it was an unpleasant news, a very unpleasant one. a face full of sorrow was plastered on our own faces. these guys are like my new family that embraced me like their own brother. and achieving my own dreams without the three of them feels incomplete. we all have wanted to achieve our dreams altogether and in this dire situation, i don't think i can still go on achieving my dreams being us incomplete.

"i can't agree to this," i stood up and slammed my hand on the table. "pentagon won't be pentagon without them."

"lee hwi--,"

"as the leader of pentagon, i will stand up for all of us. if the three of them can't debut with us, i won't also consider debuting and being the leader of the group." i said and cut him off. the members were looking at me with confused face and gazes.

"but lee hwitaek, your debut preparations will be starting next week and in the following months your debut will take place!" the ceo protested. that won't even change my desicion, it won't.

"i will go with hui." hongseok stood up, followed by jinho, wooseok, changgu, hyunggu and yuto.

"hyung, don't do this. you can debut without us--," shinwon said and changgu cut him off.

"we can't debut without you, guys." changgu explained and looked down, shedding a single tear.

"you all better think thoroughly about this! this is the debut you've been wanting for a long time! i know you won't surely miss this opportunity." the ceo said. he's right, this is what we've been wanting for but i just can't go on with this, in this situation.

"i will give you two days to decide. you all need to come back here two days after." he added before he left the room.

"why did you do that?" hyojong stood up and went to my side, his face full of disappointments upon me.

"i just--," i said but he cut me off.

"you can debut without us! you can! stop saying you can't where in fact you can! i'm not disappointed in you, hui. i'm disappointed on what you did!" he stormed out of the room and wooseok followed him.

my palms came into my face, closed my eyes for a second. because of what i did, i had a misunderstanding with my best friend. it wasn't a reckless desicion and even in the end, i won't regret it for the rest of my life. i can understand why he was disappointed on what i did, it was a bit selfish desicion. how many people can i disappoint for being selfish?

the wind in the han river is truly refreshing. i can't stay on that room for too long, it makes me remind how hyojong was disappointment on what i did. after i left the building, i decided to take a stroll on the streets and ended up here in han river. thank goodness, there aren't many people in here. i sat on the grass and stared on the sky full of stars. it was shining brightly with the others. can i also become a star one day? a star that is proudly shining on stage together with the others.

what a coincidence, the sky and stars was helping me to relate on them. seeing one star shining is a truly nice sight to see but seeing that star shine with the others will be more a truly nice sight to see. and also, the other stars will accompany that star everytime so that the star won't feel lonely by itself.

"byeol i bichnaneun bam." i heard someone say three times. her eyes was fixed on staring the sky but her eyes speaks something. she was smiling to the sky but her eyes says otherwise, it says that i'm already tired, i want to rest forever.

"starry night," i kept on saying three times and i felt her stare at me. "it is really a starry night, jang yeeun."

"what are you doing here, lee hwitaek?" she said sarcastically.

"i think i should be the one saying that, crystal clear's main rapper, yeeun," i replied to her. "you should be on the practice room practicing your new song."

"h-how did you know?" she asked.

"few days ago, i passed by your practicing room and heard an unfamiliar song so i thought i could be your new song for your comeback." i explained.

"ah, i see." she just said and looked at the sky again. the yeeun that i knew isn't like this, her eyes are always full of happiness that can also make you happy upon gazing on it.

"i'm here, yeeun. my ears are always available for you, don't forget that." i scooted on her and patted her back.

she started sobbing and i pulled her on a hug to comfort her. girls are indeed fragile. yeeun must he having a hard time and i guess she have been keeping all of her problems on herself. she maybe doesn't want the people around her to worry and that is one thing we have on common. or maybe she doesn't trust the people around her. that can be understandable cause in the end, we can only rely on ourselves.