The Six Members of One Direction

A Tough Decision

[August 11, 2015]

Two days ago Zayn shared the reason that he left. He told the whole world that it was my fault. My social media mentions are filled with people talking about me. Fans blaming me for splitting up the band, and fans supporting me during this time.

I spent all day yesterday locked inside my hotel room. Security brings me food and checks on me every couple hours. They boys finally decided to let me have alone time after not getting any answers from their repeated door knocking.

I'm trying to come up with some type of resolution. I can't stay silent about this forever. Using all my strength I pull myself out of the hard hotel bed. I walk over to the giant window peering out at the giant buildings in front of me. Looking down I notice a group of friends, they all share laughs and hugs. Tears spring into my eyes, how I wish to be laughing with my favorite people right now.

A familiar ringtone pulls me out of my depressing thoughts. A ringtone I specifically set for a special person. Grabbing my phone off the bed, I read the four letter name. "Zayn.", I speak aloud to my empty hotel room. Nervously, I decide to pick it up.

"Hello Y/N.", the Bradford accent greets me. "Hi Zayn.", I say softly into the phone. Waiting for answer, I move back to the bed. A sigh comes over the phone, "I'm sorry. I know it doesn't mean anything now, but I'm sorry.", he says to me. "Okay.", I say back. Shocked, Zayn replies, "Okay?". I try to come up with the right words, but I can't seem to find them. "I'm not mad, but I can't accept the apology Zayn.", I simply say. I feel him nodding through the phone, he decides to change the subject. We talk about what we've both been up to, and continue our conversation for about ten more minutes. I then tell him to call the boys, he mentions that he'll think about it.

I hear the click of the phone call, and quickly put my phone on the bed. Running my hands over my face, I decide to talk a shower. I make my way to the bathroom, avoiding the piles of clothes and trash that have accumulated from the past couple days. Hoping in the shower, I turn the knob all the way to the hottest setting. I begin to wash my hair and body, taking my time to give my body the attention that it needs. After rinsing myself off, I stand underneath the water for a few minutes.

~10 minutes later~

After changing into pajamas and brushing my hair, I make my way to Harrys hotel room. The boys text me every day to let me know who's room they are hanging out in. Making my way to the door, I notice Paul in the hallway. We pull into a quick, but tight hug. Pulling away I see a big smile on his face, showing that he is glad that I have decided to get out of bed.

My hand rests on the doorknob in front of me, I take a sigh and turn it. Opening the door, four heads turn around to face me. Louis runs up to the door and puts his arm on my shoulder. "Love," he starts, "We've been so worried ab-". I grab him into a tight hug before he can finish. Burying my head into his shoulder, sobs come from deep within my body. He squeezes my body back, while rubbing my back. The hug is soon joined by three others. My cries begin to stop, and the hug breaks up.

I am then moved to the couch, surrounded by the boys. After a few minutes of silence, I speak up. "Did he call you guys?", I ask to the group. Strange faces are formed, allowing me to know that Zayn didn't. I explain the phone call to them. I get mixed emotions from them.

"You guys know how we've been talking about a break?", the group nods to the question that I asked them. I rub my face, then speak up, "I think we should do that.". Silence takes over them, the all exchange looks and nod. We then come to the conclusion that we will take a short break once the year is over.