Heir of Slytherin

82

'conceal don't feel'

"You're holding back, let it go." Severus sneers at me and I struggle to let my real anger go. We were still at the castle as we had connected Severus' floo network to the castle's. Before, it had been disconnected to any for safety precautions but now it had one connection.

"I am letting it go!" I barked angrily but he only shakes his head. He continued firing spells at me and I deflect them as much as I could, the others that were too fast made me duck and move away. He was trying to frustrate me but I had been holding back like I am used to.

"Know your soul, Dianna. Believe in yourself." Anyone watching us must have been amused for hear Severus say these words but for me it was not amusing. I found it hard, to dive deeper in my soul and mind. Severus said my father learned it like this. He had to rummage through his mind and know his soul. Anger had also helped him with the transformation.

"Remember every detail of your life. Embrace the pain, embrace the tears and imagine it shedding like your scales." I had tears in my eyes now as I felt Severus get inside my head, forcing me to see the worst and best moments of my life.

Cedric's emotionless eyes.

Blaise's limp body.

Draco and I's first kiss.

My boggart of Severus.

"It's gone."

"ENOUGH!" At that moment I knew I lost control. The room's temperature went cold and it had a green aura, like the one's I had in panick attacks and tempers.

My eyes soften as I see that Severus had fallen to the ground. I took a deep breath and offered Severus my forearm. He took it, slowly rising from the ground. Once I calmed down, the green mist around the room disappears.

"Rest. I will come back at Hogwarts." Was all he said before flooing out. I sighed, plopping myself in my throne. Actually it was Salazar's and we had kept it here. I was the only one who had the audacity to sit in this emerald green chair.

"Love?" I hear Draco crept in the room and I don't look up, keeping my head low and my gaze fixed on the ground.

"Hey, lunch is ready. Daph and Theo are arriving later." He said as he crouched down in front of me.

"Good, I was about to call them to come over before. I'm sure you're starving, let's go." I said and stood up, holding Draco's hand. But he stopped,making me turn to him in question.

"I'm not hungry yet. Are you?" He asked and I sensed that he was about to ask me something, he wanted to talk.

"I'm fine, what do you want to talk about?" I asked,my other hand touched his cheek in worry.

"Wedding. I want to talk about our wedding." He said and I stiffened. It's not that I wanted to back off our engagement, no. But we were young and my priorities were set on winning this war.

"Draco...there is a war on going."I said and he frowns.

"The Weasleys held a wedding for Delacour and their eldest." He replied and I sigh heavily. My hand retreated to my side as I sat down again in the emerald throne.

"We cannot afford a distraction, Draco. We're not stupid." I bitterly remark and I hear him scoff softly.

"Is our wedding a distraction for you? I'm sorry but you make it sound like it's an inconvenience, Dianna." He said and I felt frustrated and tired. My mind was drained, my body was tired.

"It's not an inconvinience,Draco, but it is a distraction. So many preparations and those should be least of our priorities right now. It's a new era, Draco. Everything should go as planned or else we'd end up loosing more." I said, the discomfort in my voice was as clear as day.

"Least of our priorities? We're not at school anymore, Dianna. This war will go in time but  we don't know how fate would lead us." He said making me purse my lips. He had a point but I was driven. So driven to kill and bring justice, and it will be done my way.

"What would it change, Draco? Perhaps you are afraid but in the end of the war we'd survive and by then I will marry you." I tried letting him see my point but Draco was stubborn. He was always like this and it did not surprise me.

"I'm not afraid. I just want some assurance, Dianna. Assurance that in the end it's you and I, bonded." His voice was territorial and I would have admired his sense of territory. But my mind was set somewhere else.

"Is me being here, choosing to be with you, not enough assurance?" I asked softly and I watched as Draco sighed.

"Sometimes, I don't feel like you're here." He said bitterly and I felt my brearh got caught up in my lungs. I've been distant lately, I knew of that. My heart was still mourning and the solitude made me stronger. If I had to fight this alone, I had to feel it. But I was too caught up with myself that I shunned  everybody else.

"I'm giving you a choice, Dianna. Marry me in a week or not." He said sternly and I felt my headache. Marrying Draco was my dream. A legal bond that renames me as his' was my dream. But destroying Tom Riddle and everyone who killed for him was my goal.

It was a choice between dream and goal? Want or need.

"I want to marry you, Draco. I do. But I need to finish my goals." I said as I stood up. I stood in front of him again and our eyes met. His eyes showed me pain and I could feel his nervousness. Slowly, I took off my ring and took his hand. I stared at the emerald ring for a while, hesitating. But then I put it in his palm and closed it making a fist. Then I brought it to my lips, kissing it tenderly. Then I looked at him in sadness, kissing his cheeks.

"This doesn't mean I don't love you anymore, Draco. I do, more than I love myself. I'm so sorry, I hope you won't think I'd leave you." I said as I leaned my head in his chest.

"I have to win this war, Draco. Not Potter's side nor Tom's. I will."

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We see Draco's point of view in the next chapter!

Why do you think is Draco rushing for marraige?