The Only String Attached

18

BELA

"Why do you care? She is my daughter. I will know the pain".

Those words from Mahir had shattered me. It's like he is doubting my love towards Mahira.

Now I can maybe stay without Mahir, but I cannot stay without Mahira. She is the one who bought happiness in my life again. She is a ray of light in my dark world.

I understood that Mahir has some feelings for me now,but I couldn't gain his trust.

He is not trusting me with Mahira.
How can he even think like that?

Maybe I'm not her biological mother,but I'm connected to her more than that.

I cannot imagine my life without Mahira now. She showed me that there is always happiness even in a messed up life.

I've messed up my life for the father, and the daughter brought happiness in my life.

I don't know why he cannot listen to me once.

Is it because of his anger issues or the trust which I couldn't gain in these eleven months.

Just few more days and Mahira will turn one. One year of my sister's demise. One year of our marriage.

He should not convince his feelings for me. That makes me feel guilty.
But he can't take me for granted also.

I wiped my tear stricken face and was trying to sleep.

Not Mahir,nor Mahira is with me hear today. I'm not able to sleep.

I went and checked on them. They both were sleeping so peacefully scooted close to each other.

I kissed Mahira and looked at Mahir. Tears of anger were filling in my eyes. He said he cannot think low of me,but accused me as an irresponsible mother.

I went back to my room and shut the door trying to sleep.

"You disappointed me Mahir",I said to myself and slept.

MAHIR

I woke up when she left my room. She kissed Mahira and went back.

I doubted her today. I questioned her love towards Mahira today. I accused her of being irresponsible mother.

I'm feeling so guilty, the guilt which is eating me like a contagious disease.

She dint defend herself,nor she said a word.

She is hurt. I hurted her again.

I hurted her before unintentionally and now my anger took over me and I messed it again.

I scooted Mahira close and slept.

I woke up and saw the watch showing five in the morning. I need to workout my anger now.

I took sleeping Mahira and entered her room. She was sleeping hugging her legs close to her. She was looking like a cocoon scooted up.

I sat beside her bed and laid Mahira beside her. She sensed that and pulled Mahira close.

I removed some hair strands from her face and kissed her forehead.

I went to the gym and started lifting more weights. My gym instructor was looking at me with questioning gaze.

"Some anger issue's",I said lifting the weights.

"Good to see you working on that", he said and went.

I'm sure I will turn into a hulk one day.

I was always a gym person,but after Bela left I was doing it more.