I'm Yours to Adore

Chapter 36

"Ginny."

"Ginny, talk to me."

"Ginny, breakfast is ready."

Napaigtad ako sa kinauupuan ko nang marinig ko ang boses ni Hugo. His voice is always soft but this time it wasn't soothing. My mother's suffering and Papa's death just won't stop playing in my head and somehow, I'm hearing my father's voice. I stared blankly at the lake and curled into a ball on the bench.

Unti-unti akong napapikit habang muling naninikip ang lalamunan ko. I bit my lower lip when I felt the water creep out on the side of my eyes.

"I've already forgotten what, pero kailangan ko pa bang maalala lahat nang 'to?" Painful sobs tore through my chest. "Why do I have to go through all of this again? He's gone! He's dead but why am I still suffering!?"

Tinabig ko ang baso ng tubig para makarinig ng kaunting ingay. Suddenly, the silence scared me.

"He's dead but I can still feel every bit of anger that I've felt before."

Napapikit na lang ako sa sobrang paninikip ng dibdib ko. It feels like someone is literally gripping onto my heart and draining all the blood from it.

I felt Hugo's hand caressing my back, so I sat straight and looked at him. Saka ako nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob na magtanong. "Why did you leave?"

Unti-unti siyang yumuko at saka ipinatong ang braso sa sandalan ng bench. "Alam ko kung 'yong mga alaalang nakalimutan mo. Akala ko hindi na babalik but somehow, you slowly remembered some of it."

"I didn't."

"You did." He sighed and fixed my hair. "Noong unang beses na pumunta ka sa bahay ko, I know that you did not go up there just because you were curious..." Tinignan niya ako nang diretso sa mata at bumuntonghininga. "But because I was familiar."

I stared at him until I realized what he was talking about. The mask.

"Nag-aaral pa ako no'ng kinwento ka ni Papa sa 'kin. He's whom I've got the idea of wearing a mask when Hunter and I were hiding. So... you did not magically get interested in a random masked guy. It was because I reminded you of my father."

Saglit kaming natahimik pero napalingon ako sa lamesa nang hawakan niya ang kamay kong nakapatong doon.

"On our first night at your house, we were cuddling, and you finally said it yourself. That I look familiar."

Pinagmasdan ko siya habang maamong nakatingin sa 'kin. Slowly, I realized why I said that. "You've got your father's eyes."

"That's why I had to leave..."

My eyes were filled to the brim with tears habang marahan akong umiiling. "No. You didn't have to."

Umiling din siya at hinawakan ang pisngi ko. "Kahit alam kong delikado, sumugal ako kasi mahal kita. But you were still so young, and I can't let your past haunt you like this. I know I've hurt you either way, please forgive me."

I wiped my tears and stared at him blankly. "You could've stayed. You could've trusted me I can handle it. You're not meant to save me from my past."

He lowered his head. "Was it saving? All I know is that if I can buy you few more peaceful years, then for whatever price, I would."

"But the price was to lose you."

Tumayo na ako at naglakad patungo sa backdoor pero hinuli niya ang braso ko. "Ginny." I can see pain in his reddish eyes as he bit his lower lip. "I don't want to lose you again. I will love you better this time, please let me."

Suminghap ako at binawi ang braso ko. "Buying my peace didn't do me any good. Now I'm more confused... and shattered. I killed my father, forgot about it and made myself believe that I'm adopted! Do you know fucked up that is!? Do you know how much it scared me!? I could kill someone anytime and forget about it! I'm... sick!"

He lowered his head and reached for my hands. "I'm sorry that you had to go through all of this, pero sana hayaan mo 'kong samahan ka. Please let me stay. Let me be here when you need someone to listen to you. Let me be here when you're feeling lonely. Let me be here, in the darkest part of your life, and help you get through it. I've never seen a future without you, so please, please give me another chance."

Pinagmasdan ko siya nang mabuti habang nakayuko siya at sumisinghap. "Those were the words I wish to hear before. Kung kaya mo palang manatili sa tabi ko ngayon, sana noon pa. This may sound pathetic, but when you left me, it felt like you took my life with you. I was so lost at nawalan ako ng gana sa lahat. Ilang buwan kong inisip kung... kung anong mali sa 'kin. Bakit hindi mo 'ko pinili? Bakit hindi mo 'ko ipinaglaban?"

I smiled and cleared my throat. "It was so painful, but I eventually healed from it. Ipinagpatuloy ko 'yong buhay ko habang araw-araw akong umaasa na babalik ka. But I'm thankful that we somehow happened dahil 'yon na lang ang pampalubag loob ngayon."

Pinunasan ko ang luha ko habang hawak pa rin niya ang isa kong kamay. "Kasi kahit pinatay ko 'yong sarili kong tatay at hinayaan kong mamatay ang lolo at lola ko, kaya ko pa palang magmahal. My love for you is my only proof that I'm still human. That I'm not a psychopath—"

I held my breath when he pulled me for a hug. Unti-unti na akong napapikit habang dinadama ang init ng bisig niya. "Why did you choose to be with me?" I asked.

"Because I saw reasons why I shouldn't, but none of it mattered," he replied.

Bahagya siyang umatras at pinunasan ang luha ko. "Do you want to go somewhere else?"

We ate our breakfast and prepared to leave. Sa garahe, Gerard was on his phone, so I waited beside the car.

Naglakad siya palapit nang nang matapos siya sa ginagawa. "Are you going home?"

Umiling ako at saglit na bumaling kay Hugo. "I'm going with him. You should head back to Manila and look after Katya. She needs a support system."

He took off his jacket at ibinalot ito sa 'kin. "Mahamog, baka lagnatin ka. Call me if you need anything."

Tumango ako at gumilid na para makapasok siya sa sasakyan. When he left, lumapit na ako kay Hugo na abala sa pagkalas sa tali ng kabayo. He smiled when he saw me. "Sobrang ganda mo sa umaga."

Ngumuso ako at humakbang palapit. "Tignan mo 'ko nang maigi. Hindi na ba 'to maganda kapag gabi?"

He smiled and leaned closer to give me a quick kiss on my lips. "Maganda ka araw-araw at gabi-gabi."

Humarap ako sa kabayo at pinagmasdan ito. "It's huge."

"Don't worry, you will be riding with me."

Sumandal ako sa likod niya habang pinagmamasdan ang mga puno sa paligid. "Where are we going, by the way?"

"I want you to meet someone."

Agad ko siyang nilingon kaya napaupo siya nang diretso. "Careful, mahuhulog ka."

I smirked and glanced at his lips. "Haven't I already?"

Napangiti siya at marahang hinawakan ang pisngi ko para maiharap ako sa daan. "Eyes on the road."

I chuckled and rolled my eyes. "Kinilig ka lang, e." He sniffed on my ear, so I rested my head on his chest and felt him warmth. "Am I going to meet your father?"

"Yes. He's been waiting for you."