I'm Yours to Adore

Chapter 39

I woke up at the sound of someone humming. Nang imulat ko ang mga mata ko, napabalikwas ako agad sa kama. "What the..."

He smiled at me and played with a black casino chip in his hand. I started shaking when I realized that he looks so real. "What's happening?"

He pointed at his face. "I... am happening."

I can't believe I'm seeing my father again.

"Nice ring."

I glanced at my ring and clenched my fist. "Get out of my head."

Tumayo siya kaya napaatras ako sa gulat. "I like it here. Your mind is..." He leaned forward to pick up the vase from the coffee table at binitawan ito kaya kumalansing ang bubog sa sahig. "Fragile."

"What do you want!?"

Nagkibit-balikat siya at marahang ngumiti. "Ako ang dapat nagtatanong niyan. I'm only here because you want me to."

I shook my head. "You're sick."

"No. You... are sick. I... am dead."

Napasinghap na lang ako habang hindi makapaniwala sa nakikita ko. If I touch him, would I feel his flesh? He looks so real...

"Get out of my head."

"Paalisin mo 'ko kung gano'n. Let me go, Ginny."

I scoffed in disbelief. "You think I haven't? I literally forgot about you, asshole." Tumayo na ako at nagtungo sa mini-fridge para uminom ng tubig. Can the mind really make someone dead speak to you like this? Jesus, I need Santi.

"I know you hate me—"

"I despise you."

He smirked and shrugged. "Yes. I know you despise me but why can't you let me go?"

"Hindi ko alam!"

Biglang bumukas ang pinto at dumungaw si Santi. "You okay?"

Nangilid ang luha ko habang nakatitig sa kaniya. "Help me."

I hugged a throw pillow as soon as I sat on the couch. Dinala ako ni Santi sa library para makapag-usap pero ilang minuto na akong tahimik at hindi makapagsalita. Ipinwesto niya ang isang silya sa harap ko at inilapag sa coffee table ang isang picture ni Papa.

"Tell me, Ginny. What do you see?"

Hindi ko na kailangang pag-isipan. "A monster."

"And when you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see?"

"Me?"

He smiled and nodded. "Exactly." Itinuro niya ang larawan. "So, don't let this monster change who you are. You have always been brave."

"But insane."

"Well, you will not get there as long as you understand why you are seeing him as if he's real."

I shrugged and stared at his picture. "That's the problem. I don't understand."

"What did you two talk about?"

Saglit akong natahimik. "Nothing much. He just said some nonsense that I'm seeing him because I want to⁠—I mean, there's got to be another reason, maybe I'm just stressed or something."

Marahan siyang tumango. "Do you know that you can hate someone and still miss them?"

Nag-angat ako ng tingin at tuluyan nang natigilan. My eyes welled and my vision got blurry. Unti-unti akong umiling. "I don't miss him."

"I can give you medicine to stop the hallucinations, but there is no medicine for a longing heart."

Tuluyan nang tumulo ang luha ko pero agad ko rin itong pinunasan. "Can I have the meds before I go back to Manila?"