𝑀𝑎𝑥
Two months later, 2:22 𝑜'𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑐𝑘
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I rolled my eyes as I sat in the passengers seat next to Anthony, we were having another argument about having children. Every time he would try to have sex I would make up an excuse, I ran out of excuses a few times and tired to play died once but other than that we've had sex a few more times. I thought I was ready to have another kid or kids but I wasn't, I guess I was too busy trying to move on to fast. I was ready to have another child, I was scared and still grieving over my child that I buried a month and a half ago.
"Max come on just admit to not wanting to have sex with me."
"Not this again Anthony."
"Yes this again, that shit is so stupid. Weeks! It's been weeks! And still we don't have a child, is there something wrong with you? You was supposed to only have one child?"
I looked at him and slapped the taste out his mouth, causing him to swerve on the rode. We was heading to a restaurant to eat lunch, I don't know why I deal with his mess sometimes. "The bullshit that comes out of your mouth sometimes is just foolery." I said as I rolled my eyes.
"I wasn't trying to sound cold, it was just a simple question I'm sorry..."
I stayed quiet.
"Would you rather have kids with Kelvin?"
"What?
"You heard me Max, you think I'm dumb or some shit? I know when you tell me your finna run to the store you really be driving to the park and you sit there and you cry..."
"Anthony that's nun of your business."
"How the fuck it ain't? Your my wife! Why would You lie to me?"
"Anthony calm down."
"Don't tell me what the fuck to do."
"You wanna know why I go to the park?!! Because I have no one!! I don't speak to my family and your barely home! Always at that damn jewelry store. I got to the park to write, to be to myself. To breath and reflect and cry, because I lost my everything!"
"You got me! How many got damn times do I have to tell you that?! No no no you know what..? All this shit? Is because that nigga Kelvin, you wanna be with that nigga so bad huh?"
"Oh please just shut up, you only hear what you want. I'm done with this damn conversation, you are so jealous of a dude that I'm not even with."
"I'm not jealous I'm territorial, I have to protect what's mine. And the reason I despise that nigga so much is because I know y'all too have history, but I also know what it feels like to be replaced. The same way I got you could be the same way I loose you, and I'm trying so hard to stop that from happening."
The car grew silent.
"Your not going to lose me Anthony, I love you too much for that. You mean everything to me, and I'm so sorry for making you feel like less of the man you are. You are a great husband and your going to make a greater father, I just don't want to rush this. What we have right now is perfect, just how it is. Just me and you, until later on."
"I get what your saying, so instead of acting like some type of bitch. Imma let you do you babygirl, imma wait on you of course I am." He said, making me smile.
He stared into my eyed and I looked back into his, as much as I hated to amid it I really do love Anthony and even though my love for him doesn't run as deep as it does for Kelvin. I can always learn to love him, that's why they say get with the man that loves you and not with the one that you love.
We heard the honking of horns and out eyes turned to the road. "ANTHONY WATCH OUT!!" I screamed, he made a sharp turn and went off the road causing us to crash into a tree in a ditch.
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"Your all clear ma'am, you can go wait in the waiting room. Your very lucky, just a few scratches." Said the nurse, I looked everywhere and couldn't find Anthony. "Where's my husband?" I asked as I limped into the lobby.
"He's in surgery ma'am, a tree lime flew through his window." I stopped moving, what did she just say?
"What? No no no!!" I cried as I weakly walked to my seat. "Ma'am please just seat here and wait for me." She said as she sat me down.
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Minutes went buy like hours. I waited and cried, until my heard started to hurt. "Max..." Kelvin said sadly, I looked up and he was in his scrubs covered in dried blood stains. I ran to him and cried, please just give me some good news.
"Kelvin! Please, please tell me he is okay?" I begged. Kelvin looked at me and shook his head slowly, I cried some more. It just never gets easier for someone like me, and how could I think it would?
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7:55 𝑜'𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑐𝑘
Me and Kelvin has just made it back to his house after a long day at the hospital, I didn't eat all day, and I wasn't planning on getting any sleep tonight. I had so much stuff to plan, so many things to do. I had to cancel our wedding plans, and see if they will return the money back, I also had to plan another funeral and pay for everything on my own. I have no time to sit here and cry over spilled milk, I whipped my face as I walked to the kitchen to get me a glass of water.
Kelvin walked in and sat at the table looking at me strangely.
"What?"
"Are you okay? Do you need anything?" He asked me, I sipped on my water.
"No I'm perfectly fine, I just need to borrow your laptop. I have a couple of things to do, and I need to go to the school and tell them I'm ready to come back."
"What? Max no, you just lost Anthony."
"Come on Kelvin please be understanding, I'm going to go wash." I said as I walked away, I was not finna fall back into a depression phase.
I got into the shower and started to wash, I got distracted when my wedding ring got caught on my towel. I stared at my ring as I twisted it on my finger, the water of the shower disguised the tears running down my cheeks. I lost my Husband and my son all in one year. God please be with me.
