GUARDIAN | DORBYN ✓

46

corbyn's adams apple bobbed, careful when slipping from daniel's hold. according to the clock, it was about four in the morning.

he didn't get much sleep.

the angel wanted to cherish daniel, holding him as tight as he could while daniel's own grip had loosened in his slumber. he sat down at the desk, eyes landing onto daniel's journal immediately. he'll find it here, i'm certain of that.

his thumb skimmed by pages, ink leaks, blobs, light pencil write-ins, it really was used, loved, in a sense.

the last entry, of course, was those same lyrics he couldn't quite decipher earlier.

april 29, 2020

you know me the best
you know my worst
see me hurt but you dont judge
that right there is the scariest feeling

(add more)

isn't it amazing
how almost every line on our hands align
when your hand's in mine...

↳ you deserve to hear them a thousand times

that, along with many other scribbles of arrows or block-outs filled the page, corbyn remembering the gentle strum of daniel's guitar from hours before.

corbyn easily found a pencil at the desk, quick to press his wrist to a new page, quiet movements with the desk lamp left on and angled for it not to bother daniel in his sleep.

the entry, a supposedly short letter, took roughly forty minutes. corbyn's mind kept blanking at the memories that flooded through, hating how he had to do this in the long run.

daniel groaned, rolling over with the expectations of his body being stopped by another. his hand met bedding, brows furrowing in the tired state of himself as it padded around on the bed.

"corbyn?"

his eyes squinted open, stretching for a second. he's probably in the bathroom.

although, when he finally came to, the bathroom door was wide open. the door to his bedroom was closed, and he didn't expect corbyn to be down in the kitchen.

daniel sat up, one hand holding himself steady as his back arched with a crack or two. the other hand rubbed at his eye, adjusting to the light of the room.

his window was cracked open, gusting the blinds in every so often as they were suctioned back toward the window, catching daniel's attention easily. he shrugged, i must've left it open when corbyn came through.

the silence of the house was accompanied by almost inaudible sizzling, unexpected laughter drifting by daniel's ear-shot. maybe he's actually downstairs? that'd surprise me.

daniel waited a moment, wanting to wake up a little more although he was truly curious as to where the angel was. so, he stood up, a little wobbly on his feet, and continued with hazy vision into the hallway and down the stairs.

the brunet, confused out of his mind, squinted at the three 'strangers' of his kitchen. anna's head turned, smiling at him with a small wave. "breakfast?"

this caught his parent's attention, keri raising a plate in her hands as if she were offering bacon to him.

three, not four. where is he?

he waved a hand, mumbling a, "too tired," and turned on his feet to return to the bedroom.

the next thought was that a message would be left on his phone, until he could see the slant, additional thickness to his journal. the book was left on his desk, uncertain if he did that himself and left the pencil inside, but it wasn't very wise considering how nosy his housemates could be.

daniel opened the journal momentarily, removing his pencil as he closed it. wait. what?

a letter to my love

i didn't write this.

i'm going to miss you, daniel.
goodbye.
i'm sorry i had to leave.

daniel blinked at the words, slow to process as the wind rushed into his room, brushing over his skin with the cause to bristle over.

as a dead person stuck in the body of a nineteen year old, i don't want to hold you back. that's the honest truth. and as much as i wish i could stay longer, i don't want to hurt you more in that sort of run.

i wish i'd met you before i had to go.

as much as this will hurt, trust me, for both of us, i probably won't regret it. i won't regret any of this, really.

you deserve better than me.

no, don't tell me...

and i really hope you find that, that happiness that i found in you, i want you to find that for someone else, i believe in you, daniel. you can find a lovely person to admire your bridges or your music and they'll know every nook and cranny like i do.

me leaving doesn't mean free range of your razors, though. drink your water, eat your meals, take your pills, stay as healthy as you can be. for me, for jonah, zach, jack, anna, and your parents. (as much as you'll probably eye roll at this.)

daniel's teeth rested into his lower lip, waterline filling as his eyes narrowed at the page. oh, fuck you. he released a stifled laugh, swallowing as his hand raised to catch a tear that began to roll over his cheek.

don't worry about me, i'll be okay. some part of me wants you to forget about me, as rude as that sounds. not to the extent where you'd become angry again, but, to an extent where you can move on happily.

don't go back with jenna, though. (please)

i would never. as much as the letter caused daniel's heart to crackle and break away, he found humour at the thought of corbyn saying these things, quickly fading when the sorrowful tone returned. he's actually gone.

i love you so much.

i know i only said it once but i really hope you do understand that. you were my first love, of course, and everything was beautiful, hell, you're beautiful.

it was perfect. believe me, you've made my last few months an adventure i'd never wish to end. and as much as you're probably wondering why i had to, it's obvious, i'm holding you back.

you need someone to hold and cherish that can grow old with you, get a house with, things like that. frankly, if anybody saw me when you're old, even if i was spiritually eighty, they'd call the cops if i was kissing you, because i'm technically nineteen.

you keep moving, and i dont want to wake you so i have to go soon. i love you endlessly, remember that much, it will never be your fault, darling.

i know this isn't exactly a goodbye, so, i'll see you later, daniel.

i love you beyond the stars,
—corbyn.

EXTRA NOTES
-SINCE WHEN DDI THEY REMOVE
THE U IN FOURTY WHAT

-n e ways i been ouchin and im surprised i didnt cry at this chaoter but ofc i cried
when daniel and corbyn were hangin out
in the last one huh🤧

-also the whole thing corbyn said about eating meals and staying hydrated goes out to y'all stay healthy for me okay ily
[my pms are always open too <3]