GUARDIAN | DORBYN ✓

47

daniel took a moment to think, silence swept over the room followed by a pencil tip running over the paper before him. the wind whistling his curtains in random, irregular movements.

a letter to my angel

i never got to say i love you, you know.

it fucking hurts. it's only eleven and even if my family's here it doesn't feel like it. my world's slipping by my fingers, it doesn't feel like i'm here anymore. on second thought, daniel erased it, merely irritated by the smudging left behind.

i want to be with you, so bad, corbs. but i'll stay, i'll fight for you.

daniel's mind seemed to circuit, shortening his thoughts even if he only now started the entry just after seeing corbyn's. he fell back into the chair, head lolling on his neck with an empty gaze to the ceiling. no matter how hard the fight, i'll try, for you. no promises i'll move on, though.

he swallowed, thoughts invading his mind like toxic greenery, as if vines began to grow and infest the outer layer just to dig in deeper. everything lead back to corbyn.

his thumb skimmed back, having few tears left to fall, almost like his body grew cold, numb, quiet.

i never got to say i love you
i got in my own way

once again, the page of his own letter returned to eye level.

i wish i had you for longer.
i shouldn't have been so rude, but, it's too late now.

i guess this is why you never really responded to the whole 'boyfriend' question, huh? i'm glad i could give you time, at least, instead of having even more ache to handle if we were truly a couple.

fuck.

no matter how many thoughts seeped into daniel's brain, he couldn't manage to take any strength into his hand. it lay, limp on his page while his body slacked and he could've easily melted off the computer chair and onto the floor.

it was only when the window gave another whistle— almost to wake him from whatever trance he'd been in— that he steadied himself a little more, becoming somewhat frantic when he hurried to the drawer affront him.

the feathers, the fucking feathers.

he still collected them.

out of the many in his desk, three feathers clumped together were brought to his nose, eyes closing as if he could get any scent of corbyn, his angel.

the fragrance was quieter than daniel's own cologne, corbyn didn't wear many perfumes, often smelling of nature, as plain as it seemed. the smell after rain, perhaps, when you simply cant get enough of your surroundings. maybe it was wind, pure wind, the cold scent that almost reminded you of autumn or winter's arrival. corbyn was always freed in daniel's mind.

daniel knew he didn't want to be alone, not just yet, and that was obvious when his heart shattered with heavy fragments falling in any direction to grow harder for him to reach.

the boys
may 25, 12:26

giraffe
are you guys busy today

j-dog
i'm not

hoenah
me either

z-dong
me too

j-dog
*three

z-dong
shutup

hoenah
whats up d?

giraffe
i wanna hnag out

hoenah
okok
my place?

giraffe
yeah sure

j-dog
sure

giraffe
do i bring the lyrics
probably

hoenah
good idea

z-dong
what time?

hoenah
whenever you wanna come

giraffe
coolio
read 12:34 pm

daniel joined the three males downstairs, carrie having told him he was the last to show. it surprised him, somewhat, he thought he would've been the first.

then again, he took quite a while packing his bag because he had to grab a sweater that didn't have any holes in it. (although, he did pick the same sweater corbyn wore when they went to the park, since all of the angel's had slits cut into them.)

that process took a lot more out of daniel than he wanted it to. he ended up sitting on the edge of his bed with the feathers from before, along with the first sweater corbyn ever borrowed from him sprawled into his lap.

daniel gave a small smile when he laid his bags down, feeling so foreign in the room as he stood for a moment, staring blankly at the television. jonah had put two mattresses down at the front of the couch, side by side, like a large bed. zach sat with the eldest on one, jack left by himself on the other.

"wanna play, d?" jack waved an extra controller, all eyes falling to him as the game was paused. daniel waved a hand, sitting beside jack nonetheless.

"i'm gonna watch."

his legs crossed, leaning in to jack's side with not much care if he found it weird. the curly haired boy was quick to notice how daniel's mood was on shift, dropping from the game with a nod for zach and jonah to continue. "get over here, dani. i want a hug."

the excuse was followed by jack slithering down more on their mattress, pillow being tugged off the couch as he gave grabby hands to daniel when situated. daniel rolled his eyes jokingly, a small smile gracing his lips as he followed the action.

daniel breathed out, eyes barely focused on the colourful game as he could hear zach complain about falling from the racetrack. he bit at his lip, feeling jack's hand raise to the back of his head. the entire action, the position, anything and everything seemed to remind daniel of corbyn.

his arms wrapped around jack only tightened, attempting to tangle their legs more as his eyes squeezed shut. jack, when noticing this, held daniel close.

"rough day?" jack's eyebrows raised a little as he stared into the background of the room, hearing a quiet, stifled sniffle from daniel.

"very."

EXTRA NOTES
-this isnt the end i promise and i'm sorry for coming back with this boring thing but thank y'all so much for 8k it seriously blows my mind and im so thankful for anybody that's even taken my book into consideration

-you're all needed and loved and you belong here, remember that, if it feels like nobody's here for you i am <3 [my messages are always open too]