GUARDIAN | DORBYN ✓

50

june 15
i stole one of ashley's blank diaries.
i guess i'll start doing this now, it works for you most of the time, right?
you wrote a song for me,
i didn't know you wrote music back in april but at least i do now.
the flowers died
i don't want them to go, so i just keep putting the petals back on the edge of the vase.
i'm sorry i blocked you,
you deserve better.
—c.b, 5:12 pm

——

june 15
you blocked me
i don't hate you for it, though.
i wouldn't stick with me either.
i'm sorry for treating you so bad
zach found me breaking down in the hallway and they skipped the next period to drive me home, which was completely unnecessary but they insisted on it.
they just left
we watched a movie or something
i fell asleep.

——

june 17
i miss you.
everything reminds me of you
i can't get you out of my head
i wish you knew how horrible i feel, it probably makes me seem really rude.
—c.b, 11:45 pm

——

june 19
i'll keep going,
just for you
i dont know if you see me anymore
but im trying, angel.
i sing a lot more than i used to, it fills in the quiet. although anna's been staying home recently, she feels very foreign, but we get along.
i play eight letters every night
i think thats what we titled it, anyways.
maybe you can hear it,
maybe you'll come back.

——

june 26
i dyed my hair today
kinda like it
reminds me of you.
zach told me i look good, i can probably trust his judgement.
do you know that i'm blond now?
do you read these?
i'll never know.

——

august 1
i dont go down to earth much, frankly, i don't do much at all anymore.
ashley said she saw you
your hair is blond now.
you asked about me.
i thought you would have forgotten by now.
—c.b 7:09 pm

——

august 1
i wanted to hug ashley so bad, corbyn.
she said you were doing okay
i hope you are, actually, maybe even better than okay.
i miss you so much.

——

august 16
perfect played on the radio.
how could i not think about our last night?
as cliche of a song i probably wont ever forget our time together.
to make it better, i just realized you've been gone for over a month.
only a day, but still, a whole month without you.
i really hope my mom didn't notice that i'd cried when she came back from the grocery store.
did you see it?
do you miss me?
why do i bother?

——

september 10
i got a new job at the animal shelter, everybody's nice, especially the cats. there's this one with pretty, big blue eyes. (i think they called her a balinese?) her name is soot.
—c.b 4:33 pm

——

september 12
i tried to hook up with someone, finally, almost two months later.
it didn't go well.
jonah hosted a party tonight, it was some random girl, i didn't really care. i wanted to feel loved again.
i collapsed on her.
all i could think of was how disrespectful it was to you, i just dropped, crying, bawling.
i apologized after, of course, and she seemed fine with it, somehow.
i got her number, she's just a friend, promise.
i dont want anything that's not with you.

——

october 27
i can't really commit to a journal
ashley threw out my petals thinking i forgot about you
i could never forget you, you know.
i'm currently in the cat room, i don't know what to call it besides, but it's some time past one in the morning. i came here for soot.
she reminds me of you.
—c.b 1:13 or something

——

november 1
the amount of sexy angel costumes i saw last night made me want to punch everybody in a three mile radius.
as much as they remind me of you, youre not like them, you never tried to be, you had horrible flirting attempts and you didn't know what you were doing.
you were perfect for me.
i thought their costumes were quite disrespectful, to be completely honest.
i didn't hurt anybody though, in case you do see these. the only thing that got hurt was zach. (he drank way too much for his weight.)

——

december 25
i'm sorry i couldn't stick around long enough to get you anything today.
on a more positive note my boss said i could take home soot, so i did.
—c.b 9:40 pm

——

january 3
my hangover is gone, i went back to this book when cleaning today.
my therapist called early november, wanted me to write in a journal for her to keep track of my days and thoughts.
i had to ditch this one, sorry.
she'd send me back to the psych ward if she heard me talking about angels.

——

february 14
i would've spent this day with you, assumingly, but ashley dragged me out of the gates to try and cheer me up. i don't think she knows i'm wearing your sweater, but i also don't think you knew it was me.
the blond looks nice, daniel.
i knew it would.
—c.b 7:56 pm

——

april 4
we met a year ago
i guess this was around when you started the song, huh?
i can't remember all the lyrics, i only heard it once.
i hope you're doing better.
—c.b 12:47 am

——

april 4
easter break started yesterday
i sat in the bathroom, remembering you.
in fact i'm still in here
my light is dying, it keeps flickering
reminds me of you, somehow,
i guess this whole room does.
i hope you know i miss you, angel.
but i hope you're doing better.
i love you.

——

april 23
i tried working two jobs, one with dad and the other at the shelter
they dropped me, though.
a lot of people took in animals for easter, so we didn't need too much staff.
at least i still have the gatekeeper to fall back on.
—c.b 12:15 pm

EXTRA NOTES
-these are journal entries but underlining everything made it hard to read, i hope you can decipher between corbyn and daniel's
(if not im sorry pls tell me and i'll try to fix it)

-this book is almost over😳🙊

-remember to rest up + stay healthy ily <3