SALEM ᵈ ᵐᵃˡᶠᵒʸ

xxii. Unfair

NOT a word was exchanged in the sombre air of the Hospital Wing that night. Everyone was too busy sitting and staring into nothingness as their mind drifted away, or fast asleep or resting on the beds — everyone except for me.

The strip of walkway that ran down the centre in between the hospital beds must've already felt my sneaker-clad feet drag over it countless of times. Sitting still wasn't enough for me and neither was standing, so I paced the length of the infirmary with my arms crossed, going over the events that happened in just the span of an hour.

As I ran away from him, the waterworks behind my eyes burst and broke, filling my cheeks with fat droplets of tears. I hadn't even realized I was heaving so violently until I reached the others and Tonks had to catch me before I collapsed on the floor from exhaustion — from both running and sobbing.

No one asked any questions, no one wondered where I had come from; I figured it was better that way. How was I going to explain about that little moment Draco and I had? Perhaps, the only moment we'd ever have for a long, long time.

It was a shame that it wasn't the best, but nothing's fair in the world.

It wasn't fair that he was one of them, a Death Eater; a devoted follower of a foul leader, meant to rid the world of good and justice.

It wasn't fair that during the time Draco and I spent together, he was never that, making believe he was a completely different person — someone good.

And despite everything that just happened — whether it was all a lie or not — it wasn't fair that it was only now I realized I didn't just like Draco as a friend, but more than that.

That would explain everything: blushes that arose to my cheeks, stolen glances from under my eyelashes, the jolts, the tingles, the butterflies. . .even that bloody feeling whenever he said something remotely flirty — no matter how many times I rolled my eyes, it always made me feel all giddy.

But like all things, the good always had the bad. They came in the reprimands and worry whenever he looked like he wasn't sleeping or eating enough, the green monster of envy when he had commented on how pretty Daphne Greengrass was, the pain in my heart when he pushed me away.

I have never been in a relationship before, much less took a fancy to anyone. But I was so sure, right down to my gut, that the feelings I had weren't something as casual as a friendship. It was totally new, something I haven't felt before; and it scared me.

Everything was different now. We were on two sides; the light and dark, the good and the bad. . .

The only option I had was to probably move on and forget about it.

Which is why it made the heartache worse. I let out a deep and slow breath, trying to ease up the pain and was thankful for a distraction when the infirmary doors flew open.

I hastily dabbed at my tear-ducts and watched as Ginny and Harry walked in. Hermione immediately ran to Harry and hugged him, me following her lead by hugging him and Ginny too.

Towards the foot of Bill's bed, Remus arose and walked towards us anxiously.

"Are you alright, Harry?"

"I'm fine. . .how's Bill?"

No one answered his question as his eyes trailed off to where Madam Pomfrey was tending to Bill. My gaze soon followed, heart clenching as his ripped and grotesque face shone under the silver moonlight; so unrecognizable, so altered.