Survive, if you can // John Murphy

//03// Broken Flaws

WARNINGS: swearing, dirty talk, sexual tension.

After we've lugged both Jasper and the jaguar back to camp, some people begin to cook it. It's dark so everyone else should be as hungry as I am. Bellamy has taken lead quite quickly, making people line up for food and only giving it to them if they take their bands off. I'm just watching them be idiots. This is ridiculous. I'm not letting him regulate if I get food from my own kill. So, I walk up to the carcass, digging my fingers into the meat and pulling a chunk off. As I'm walking away, a hand grabs my arm and spins me around.

I look Bellamy in the eye, hand tightening on my sword. "Do I need to remind you who killed that thing? You don't wanna mess with me, bud. Especially when I'm hungry. So, let me fucking be."

"You know," he starts, squeezing tighter, "you're infuriating."

I pull my arm from his grip, swiftly bringing my sword to his throat. "And you're a bit of an asshole."

"That gets worse in bed," he says, cocking his head to the side.

"You're really mentioning sex with my sword at your neck?" I ask, copying his head movement.

"I'm mentioning sex because I can't get the thought of being on top of you out of my head," he says, letting a smirk on his lips.

I go on my tiptoes, keeping my expression angry. "Try harder."

I pull my sword down, spinning on my heel and walking away. My teeth sink into the food, savouring the bland taste. It isn't amazing, it tastes like chicken but I've never liked chicken much.

I walk to John's tent, unzipping it and stepping inside. He's not here. I frown a bit, zipping the entrance back down and setting down my weapon. I continue to chew on my meal as I start to eye my book again. That little thing is the bane of my fucking existence. It's mentioned in most of the nightmares I have. Why the hell did she leave it for me? Did she know it'd just drive me crazy? Did she think I'd have opened it by now? I mean, it's been nearly two years since she died and I'm still hiding from it like a coward. I've always been brave when it comes to fighting or flirting or sex but I'm spineless when it comes to emotions.

"Cam?"

I'm standing quickly, turning to look at the entrance. John is standing there, staring at me with questioning eyes. I wipe the leftover jaguar on my pants, stepping closer to him. I grin, resting my hands on his shoulders as I press myself into him. He avoids my eyes, keeping an annoyed look on his face.

"Oh god. What'd I do?" I ask quickly, stepping away from him.

"Oh, nothing," he says sarcastically, finally meeting my gaze. "Just flirt with Bellamy right in front of my face."

"That? That was barely an interaction. He wouldn't let me take my food so I threatened him a bit and he stopped," I say, casually forgetting the part about the sex.

"You looked pretty close to me," he says, jaw tight.

I let myself smile a bit. "Holy crap. You were right when you said you get jealous easily."

All of a sudden, he's in front of me. He takes my chin in his hand, forcing my eyes to his. "You're mine. Make no mistake of that, toy."

Fuck, that's the best nickname so far.

He must sense this as amusement creeps into his expression. "You like that one, huh? You enjoy being my little toy?"

"More than anything," I say, nodding and kissing him roughly.

_•_•_

The nightmares are worse tonight. I wake screaming with sweat covering my entire body. And I can feel the heat radiating off me. I pull the fur away from me, swinging my legs over the side of the mattress and burying my face in my hands. My breathing is shallow, spiking at times that I don't expect it to. Tears are falling down my cheeks without permission, staining my skin with my embarrassment and panic.