Survive, if you can // John Murphy

//08// True Lies

WARNINGS: swearing, violence.

"He would've liked this, right?" I ask Bellamy, looking out at the drunken criminals running wild. It's Unity Day. That's why they're acting more rebellious than usual.

"Who?" Bellamy responds, eyebrows pulling together.

"John," I say, staring at my friends.

I hear him sigh. "Camari, you have to get him out of your head-"

"That's the problem, Bell. I can't. He really just snuck up on me. I can't stop thinking about him," I say, shaking my head.

"You should enjoy this. Drink a little, it'll make you feel better," he says.

"As good as that sounds, I'm sober," I say, nodding. His eyebrows raise in question and I answer, "A year and a half."

"Wow. I'm...sorry," he says.

"Why? I fixed myself no matter how hard it was. Too bad I couldn't quit the dick, huh?" I ask, smiling softly at him.

He smiles back but his full energy isn't in it. "I trust you, Cam. I want you to be safe so I want to give you one of the guns. You'll need to train with it-"

"I know how to use a gun, Bellamy," I say, tensing a bit.

"How?"

"My mother taught me with a fake one in our room. It was realistic enough but it was made out of wood. I've never fired a real gun but I know how it works," I say, nodding.

"These are big guns-"

"She taught me with every size," I say, looking up at him. "If you want, you can make sure I'm trained enough tomorrow but I can assure you that I am."

"Tomorrow morning, eight," he says, nodding.

I nod back. "Sounds like a plan."

_•_•_

Bellamy figured we'd kill two birds with one stone if my target practice was also hunting lessons. I've never hunted before and I'm not sure how he knows to do it but I follow his instruction. At times, his hands find my hips to reposition me and I try to ignore the shiver as his cold hands touch my body. The knock back from firing is worse than I'd imagined. It was always difficult to predict what it'd feel like but it sends tremors through me.

"I want you to shoot at the deer," Bellamy instructs, pointing to the deer in the clearing. "Aim for the chest. Then fire a shot up into the trees. Then turn around and shoot that tree. Can you do that?"

"Yep," I answer, aligning myself with the gun.

I shoot the deer, shoot the leaves in the tree, spin around and shoot the tree he had pointed at. I lower the gun and turn to find the doe on the ground. A smile finds my lips at the sight. Bellamy, however, looks awestruck. His mouth is hanging open.

"Don't be so shocked. You can't be surprised by this when you know how awesome I am," I joke, walking over to the fawn and shutting its eyes.

"You just learned so quickly," he says, shaking his head in disbelief.

"I told you, I've been taught before-"

"With a wooden gun, Cam. You're just...incredible," he says, finally smiling.

The compliment takes me by surprise. No one ever really compliments me. Sure, John told me I was gorgeous but that was in bed. I know he told me other things but I never really let myself believe them. If you hold back enough no one will be able to hurt you, right? Well, that can't really be true since it hurt like hell when they banished John. And all of a sudden I'm mad at him again. Bellamy, I mean.