Survive, if you can // John Murphy

//50// Realization

WARNINGS: swearing, sexual tension.

They found the body on patrol last night. I'm glad it wasn't Bellamy, Octavia, or Echo but this doesn't exactly put me at ease. The body is wearing a grey suit with a reflective helmet constructed of strange shapes. My body is itching to see what's under the helmet but Raven said we need it intact. They left an undetermined number of hours ago. They're going to find our friends and bring them back here. I have no doubt they'll succeed. Clarke tried to get me to go with them but John wouldn't let her. He said I was still recovering. So, I'm sitting in the lab after nearly fainting in our room earlier. Jackson is monitoring me closely.

Indra enters the room, seeming upset. "The Faithful have decided that they're going to sacrifice another person on every hour that Russel Prime is still in our custody."

I sigh, shaking my head a bit. "What's the plan then?"

Indra frowns, looking at the floor. "I need a Prime."

I nod, going to stand. "You got it."

John stops me as I weaken. "Sit back down, Cam. You're not well enough for this."

"I'm fine," I choke out before falling back onto my bed.

"You're not better," John realizes, turning to Jackson. "Why the hell isn't she better?"

"Radiation poisoning doesn't always progress in a straight line," he replies, shaking his head. He looks back at Indra. "What do we do then?"

"You could let me go," Russel suggests from through the door. We all give him a look and he shrugs. "Then send me in there. I'll tell them to stop."

"Not a chance," Indra says, returning her eyes to us.

"Or we could let them kill themselves," John pipes up. "Come on. Am I the only one who sees this as a solution and not a problem? If they're dead, they can't bother us anymore and we won't have to act like Primes."

"Looks like we've found our candidate for talking them down," Indra says, walking to John and yanking him from the chair he was sitting in.

"Don't be an idiot," I say to John through half opened eyes.

He nods at me. "Keep yourself together, alright."

I nod so he'll leave.

After they're gone, Jackson shuts the door and walks back towards me. Now we're alone in here together. I'm glad he shut the door. Listening to Russel whine was getting annoying.

"Do you miss Miller?" I ask, eyebrows raising.

"He'll be fine," he reassures himself, nodding as he feels my forehead.

"Yeah. He's loyal," I say, swallowing down another bad taste. "That's a good quality if you're loyal to the right person."

He stops his actions. "What are you saying?"

"Not you, no. I could see how bad that would've sounded, no. I'm talking about Blodreina," I say, nodding.

"That's behind us," he says, shaking his head.

I nod again. "Alright. But pain is never behind you."

"It's fine, Cam," he says too quickly.

I don't push any further since he seems tense. It's not behind him, that's as much as I know. He wouldn't be so defensive about it if he weren't still caught up on it. But I don't push.

After maybe an hour or two, my condition improves. Jackson clears me to leave which I do. But as I'm going, Indra approaches me with a guilty look on her face. My eyebrows furrow but then I realize why she's acting like this.