Survive, if you can // John Murphy

//20// Argument

WARNINGS: swearing, violence.

John and I are standing on the shore of the island. I've only been here once with a drone tailing me close behind. Ally allowed me to walk by myself but a drone would shoot me dead if I started running. There's still one next to us but it won't need to shoot us. The sound of a boat horn surrounds us.

"Finally getting out of here," I say, smiling.

John walks ahead of me and to the dock where the boat is stopping. It's a sad looking vessel. It floats so I'm guessing it'll work well enough. I follow him, finding Emori and her brother (Otan) on the boat. She's steering and he's standing by the edge. She looks shocked to see John as we board. He smiles and actually hugs her. I know he told me I shouldn't be jealous but they seem close.

When she pulls away from him and her eyes land on mine, she frowns. I wave shortly at her before looking at the clear water. I move to sit on a crate near the edge of the boat. John sits on my left and I lean my elbows onto my thighs as I clasp my hands.

"You alright?" he asks.

"Just fucking fantastic," I reply, leaning back.

"Hey," he says, getting me to look at him, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just..." I trail off, looking over at Emori who's steering again. "I don't like the way she looks at you."

He laughs, pressing his lips firmly to my temple before pulling away. "And I thought you had to worry about me being jealous."

"I can't help it," I say, turning to look at him. "I want you all to myself."

"And you have me," he says, grinning.

I still have this queasy feeling lingering in my gut as I stare at Emori.

"What can I do to prove it to you?" he asks.

"Name all the times we've had sex," I say quickly, meeting his eyes again.

His grin widens. "First to last?"

I nod. "Yes, please."

"Well, the first was the one in the chess room. Number two was the first night we were on Earth. Three was after I got jealous of you talking to Bellamy. Four was the next day. Five was after that," he says, grinning at me. "Six was after I got back and everyone was healed from that stupid virus. Seven was later that night. Eight was the night you slept with Raven-"

"That one was my favourite," I say, resting my head on his shoulder.

He smiles down at me. "Yeah, mine too. Nine was the next morning. Ten was the day I uncuffed you from that wall. Eleven was the night after Finn died. Twelve was...the shower. And that makes thirteen and fourteen last night."

"Fourteen times," I say, nodding. "How many people have you slept with?"

"Twenty two. All on the Ark," he says, nodding too.

"I hadn't the faintest idea. When I was fifteen, I started counting but I eventually lost track. I tried to start up again but couldn't. Not because I forgot any of them, I remember every single one. I just can't keep them straight in my head. When I got here, Ally was telling me things about myself that I already knew. She said that I've slept with sixty two people."

"Wow," John says, eyebrows high.

"It should seem like a good estimate to me but I can't even imagine. Sixty two-"

"We do what we have to to survive," John says, staring at the deck of the boat.

"But that's the thing. I wasn't surviving. I was just... living. I'm not sure if I regret it but I know that it was worth it. I met you," I say, looking up at him.

He grins at me. "I'm glad I met you."

"We didn't sleep much, huh?" I say, biting my lip.

He chuckles. "No, we didn't."

"I'm gonna have a nap," I say, using his shoulder as a pillow. "Goodnight, John."

"Goodnight, toy."

_•_•_

"Camari."

It takes me a second but I hum a groan, opening my eyes. I stretch my arms to the side, feeling the tension in my muscles. I look up to find John staring down at me. I smile softly, pushing myself from him to sit up.

"I hope you know I was having a pretty great dream," I say, rubbing my eyes.

"What was it about?" he asks, grinning.

I lean closer to him. "I don't wanna get too explicit but it involved you on your knees."

"Maybe keep it down," he says, facing me.

"Why?" I ask, smiling.

"Because we have an audience," he says, leaning into my neck.

My eyebrows furrow as I turn to look around. I see Jaha standing by the front of the boat with his eyes shut. He's clutching his metal bag close to his back. The man with the disfigured face that he brought with him is sitting across from us. Both Emori and Otan are by the steering wheel. Otan is staring at the horizon while Emori is staring at us. I look away from her, pushing John off.

"Why'd you wake me?" I ask, confused.

"Emori said we're docking soon," he says, shrugging.

I nod. "Right. Emori said..."

"Jesus, Cam. How many times do I need to tell you-?"

"Apparently one more time because I can't believe that nothing happened with her. You met alone in a desert where you thought I wouldn't follow. I don't see how something couldn't happen-"

"Do you really have that little faith in me-?"

"You thought it was over. I wouldn't blame you-"

"Fine, Camari. I thought about it. Is that what you wanna here?" he asks, shaking his head.

That's not what I wanna hear.

John seems to realize what he just said. "Cam-"

I stand, turning to Emori. "When do we dock!?"

She looks shocked by me. "Five minutes."

"Good," I say, pacing the boat from the front of the deck to the back.

"There is no anxiety in the City of Light," Jaha tells me.

"Shut up before I rip the windpipe out of your throat," I say, threatening him with my long nails.

When he backs down, I continue my pacing. It isn't long before we dock and I rush off the boat. I shout a quick affirmation to John about how I'll be back before walking into the woods. I lean my back against a tree and take a few deep breaths to slow the sweat dripping down my forehead. My hands reach up to cover my face. Maybe to block out the world or to hide myself somehow.

Hands are grabbing me.

I knee whoever's there in the gut before turning them so they're back is against me. I pull my new knife from my belt, bringing it to their neck and surveying my company. There is a woman on the left with long, brown hair and Grounder clothes. A child is to my right with the same hair and grey eyes. They both have clothe covering their mouths. I'm holding what looks like a man.

"It's your decision. Does he die?" I ask, piercing his skin just a bit.

The child looks to the mother and says something in a language I've never heard. It must be the Grounder language. Trig, I think it was called. They're having a full conversation now.

"Hey!!" I shout, shaking the man in front of me so that they turn to look at me.

The mother nods to the daughter and they both move toward me. The only way I'm getting out of this is if I fight my way out. So, I push him toward them, pulling out my sword. Before I can attack, someone hits me over the head and I lose all consciousness.

WORD COUNT: 1311

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