Survive, if you can // John Murphy

//27// Residual Attraction

WARNINGS: swearing, addiction.

"The company I keep, huh?" I say to Raven, glancing at John and Emori by the edge of the boat.

She smiles at me. "At least Bellamy isn't here. That'd be three people who've seen you naked."

I laugh, bowing my head. "Yeah. I'm not the most innocent, huh?"

"That's alright. I won't judge you," she says, grinning.

"Chof," I say, nodding and looking back at John.

"What was that?" Raven asks, smiling.

"Oh. I said thanks," I say, shaking my head.

"You learned Trig?" Raven asks, leaning closer to me from her seat across the boat.

"Ai get bida kom em in," I say, shrugging.

"That's insane," she says, grinning.

"It's based primarily on English so it was easy to learn," I say, waving her off.

I look back at John. He's smiling down at Emori like she pulled the stars from the sky and gave them to him. She leans up close to him and kisses him softly. It takes everything I have not to grind my teeth together until they break. I understand what she's doing. Guarding her territory. I don't blame her for this. I'd do the same thing if I was in her position.

"Just say it," Raven says, frowning at me.

"Say what?" I ask, frowning right back.

"If you don't want to admit it in English, just tell me in Trig," she says, nodding her head toward John.

I sigh, looking at her feet then meeting her eyes again. "Ai laik raun hodnes kom em."

She nods. "Wonderful. Now get over it."

"I can't," I say, looking back at him.

"You have to. It's over-"

"It may not be," I say, standing and sitting next to Raven. "When I saw him in the rover for the first time, he said I looked good."

"In front of Emori?" Raven asks, eyes wide.

"Yep. That's weird, right?" I ask, glancing over at him before quickly looking at her.

"I don't want to get in the middle of your drama but definitely," she says, nodding.

"What do I do?" I ask quickly.

"Listen," she says, shifting so she can face me completely, "you pull him aside and tell him how you feel-"

"What if he doesn't feel the same-?"

"He will," she says, grinning. "Look at you! You're fucking awesome."

I fight the smile threatening my lips. "You too."

"You'll do it then?" she asks, raising her eyebrows.

"I'll try," I say, nodding.

She grins. "Good. You two are cute."

We arrive at land quickly, everyone filing out of the boat. I walk onto the dock, pulling my sword out as I do. There are pillars lining the beach. We walk onto the land and cross the barrier. I hear something whirring and turn to see a metal drone flying above our heads. It shoots one of the crew in the head.

"Run!!"

I follow the order, sprinting into the trees and toward something. I'm not quite sure what my goal here is but I just run. That's what I do best, isn't it? Running away from everyone and everything.

John doesn't even cross my mind until I'm standing at the steps of her home. Ally's home. I have no idea where this lab the others know about is but I'm here. The drones have abandoned this place. Maybe I can find something entertaining to do while I wait for them.

I walk up the steps and to the door, twisting the knob. It doesn't budge and I let out a chuckle, kicking the door in. The smile on my lips becomes hard to hide as I walk through the door and back into my cage. Ally is nowhere in sight. Of course, Clarke killed her so I'm not surprised. The house is entirely intact. I walk to the living room, tapping three keys on the piano before continuing to the kitchen. It'd be nice to have a shower after a few weeks. I know I shouldn't get too comfortable though.

Frag Skaikru op. That's what the Grounders said when I arrived in their village. Kill the sky people. They blame us for the City of Light and all the death it caused which is why I had to dress as one of them. I would blame us too, honestly. But I know that they could never leave a man behind. John will know where I went. This is the only place on the island I'm familiar with.

In the meantime, I kick back on a fluffy couch and eat some saltines. Ally was a good cook but I don't know the first thing about being a chef. My specialty for home cooked meals was always drinking myself blind.

Just like that, it spears me through the stomach. Alcohol. I need it. Pike poured it down my throat and I can practically taste it right now. Why did I spit it out? I was being a coward. I'm sure Ally has some scotch around here somewhere.

I stand, going to the kitchen and quickly finding a liquor cabinet. I grin, walking over and crouching in front of it. Once I've physically opened the doors to look at the bottles, my gut sinks.

What am I doing? This was the one thing I worked so hard to prevent. Pike used my disease to torture me. It's a weakness. If I'm ever going to get any better, I'm gonna have to let it go. These episodes can't happen anymore. I need-

Just one drink. It can't hurt.

Well, that isn't entirely true. You could try to kill yourself again.

Shut up. It's just a fun pastime until they get here.

I grab a bottle of vodka, strolling back to the couch and laying down. I spin open the cap, sitting up a bit so I don't choke at the bitter taste. As I'm about to chug from the bottle, I hear a door open with a slam. John walks in from the hall quickly, eyes landing on the bottle in my hand.

"No," he says, rushing to me and taking the bottle from my hand.

"John," I say, pressing a hand to my forehead.

"Camari, you need to tell me if you drank anything," he says seriously, kneeling in front of me.

"What? No. I was going to but then..." I point at the door only to find Emori there.

"You're alright then?" John asks, grabbing my jaw so he can look me in the eyes.

"Decidedly not but that's my business," I say, shaking my head.

"Yu ste hod em in?" Emori asks, shifting her weight.

She asked if I still love him.

John turns to look at her, confused. "What did you say?"

I grit my teeth. "As ai don biyo, bilaik ai dula."

I told her that's my business.

"What are you saying?" John asks, looking between the pair of us.

"Em ste ain," she says, stepping closer to us.

He is mine.

"Osa na ai op hashta bilaik," I say, smiling softly.

We'll see about that.

WORD COUNT: 1173

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