Survive, if you can // John Murphy

//41// Problems Leading To Solutions

WARNINGS: swearing, sexual tension.

I'm sitting at a table with Echo, Bellamy, John, and Raven. Abby and Jackson are in Sanctum's library, researching every book for clues on how to cure Marcus. Miller has joined them since he's dating Jackson. Jordan is speaking quietly in the corner with Delilah. I'm guessing she's coming on to him. I hope she doesn't take advantage of him considering he's been in space his entire life. He can't have much experience with women.

John is drunk. Most everyone is drinking too but he's been slurring for an hour or so. It must be the anticipation that has everyone on edge. Clarke left maybe half an hour ago. She will be put on display to decide if we're worth salvation. Of course, with her I doubt it'll be a happy ending.

"I'm tired," I say suddenly, eyes moving to John sitting on my right. "I think I'll go to bed."

"Alright," he says, moving his lips close to mine.

I turn my head so he doesn't get access, eyes falling to the top of the table. He breathes the tiniest laugh out of his nose, grinning a bit as he looks across the table at Bellamy. I can see the hurt in his eyes but I choose to ignore it. I clear my throat, tucking some hair behind my ear.

"Look at that," John says, smiling at Bell and Echo across from us, "she won't even kiss me anymore."

I freeze, turning to look him in the eyes. He's still grinning like crazy. He's too drunk to be saying things that make sense right now but I'm still angry at him. He isn't always this insane when he's drunk. He's usually at least a little sensible.

"I'm sorry I won't kiss you after being around alcohol for hours," I say, leaning closer to him. "There's scotch on your breath by the way."

I stand quickly, walking to the door and then outside. It's dark now. I barely get a glance around before I run directly into Clarke. She's wearing that ridiculous pink dress she had been earlier. It's cut low so I get a pretty good look at her cleavage.

"What's the good word?" I ask, eyebrows raised.

She looks at the ground. "We're not welcome here."

"I should've known," I say, nodding.

"Stop," she says suddenly, looking me in the eyes. "Please. I can't have you looking at me like you hate me anymore. It's driving me crazy."

"Do you think I care?" I ask, pointing to my chest and stepping closer to her. "I'm sorry that you finally feel sorry for your actions, Clarke, but I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you. So, I'm just done."

I shake my head, walking past her and toward the square.

"We've been here before, you know! You running off in the darkness and away from me!"

I spin around, pointing an angry finger at her. "It was your fault then too."

"And where do you think you're gonna go this time, huh? Where?" she presses, frowning.

"Wherever the hell I want," I say, turning again and walking toward somewhere.

After changing direction maybe ten or fifteen times, I walk between the rows of the tall crops that grow here. It isn't long before I reach the shield. I stare at it for a few minutes. I'm not sure why but something just pisses me off knowing that I'm not allowed to leave this place. I'm used to doing whatever the hell I want but now I'm a prisoner. Well, they'll kick us out soon enough, I suppose.

I spend the entire night walking the rows of crops and into the forest. I just walk and walk and walk some more. When the second sun starts to rise, I know it's been maybe eleven hours of walking. It has to be around 10:00. I know I should go back. John will probably be worried if he isn't passed out somewhere.