Survive, if you can // John Murphy

//15// Back To Basics

WARNINGS: swearing, violence, sexual tension, dirty talk, addiction.

"A sip is the start and before you know it I'm naked in a bathtub and my wrists are slit. A sip is the start and before you know it I'm naked in a bathtub and my wrists are slit. A sip is the start and before you know it I'm naked in a bathtub and my wrists are slit. A sip is the start and before you know it I'm naked in a bathtub and my wrists are slit," I repeat, swallowing down the craving.

They're getting easier to fight. I'll be able to leave soon. Maybe even now. I know I can fight this. I'm stronger now than I was earlier. It'll be easier to fight.

John enters and I nod. "Good. I want you to uncuff me."

"This isn't a manipulation, is it?" he asks, cocking his head.

"It's not, I promise. I feel better," I say, nodding again.

He looks skeptical, leaving for a second before returning with a flask in his hand. "You won't mind if I test out your theory then."

I freeze, hands clenching into fists. "Go right ahead."

His eyebrows raise as he steps closer, crouching in front of me. I can smell it from here but I force my head back, shutting my eyes. His hand grabs mine as the smell starts to burn my nostrils. He's holding it just underneath my nose. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter, shaking my head.

"N-no thank you," I say, shaking my head again and again.

The smell is gone and I open my eyes. He's stuffing the flask in his back pocket. He pulls out a key, unlocking my cuffs. Once I'm free, I wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my forehead against his collarbone. His hands are on my back as he shushes me.

"Thank you, John," I say quietly, clinging tightly to him.

"No worries, sweetheart," he says, running a hand down my hair.

John and I walk around the perimeter of camp which is apparently one of the Ark stations that crashed down here. Jaha sacrificed himself so the others could come down which we're both happy about. I think if I saw him, I'd punch him. So, when they all left, they had quite the adventure which he explains to me. When him and Finn continued on their journey, they went to a Grounder village that they thought Clarke was in. Finn massacred some of them just as they found them. Now, Clarke won't talk to him and they're all off fixing our "radio problems." I have no idea how I missed so much but I did.

Oh, and crazy mountain people are holding our friends hostage in a secret civilization. Just another day on the ground.

"He's here!?!?"

John and I stop our walking and go to the gate, finding Abby kneeling beside a bloody Jaha. He's here. On his knees and bleeding from everywhere. I still want to punch him in the face. I even take a few steps toward him before John grabs my arm.

"Let me go," I order him.

"What good will it do you if you're back in a cell? You can do more out here," he says, keeping his grip.

I look back at Jaha. "As soon as we're out of here and alone, I'm going to kill him."

"I wouldn't blame you," John says, pulling on my arm and getting me walking again.

"Where's my father?" I ask as we walk through camp.

"He left a couple days ago with a Grounder hostage to negotiate with their leader. He hasn't come back yet," John says cautiously.

"We're assuming he's dead then?" I ask, nodding.

"Yeah," he says, glancing at me.

"Okay," I say, nodding faster.

"I'm sorry."

"I barely knew him," I say, attempting to justify why I'm not crying.

"I know," he says, fingers trailing lightly over my back.

"Do you have a room here?" I ask, moving closer to him.

"Um...yeah. Why?" he asks, looking down at me.

I keep us walking, leaning close to his ear. "I need a break and you're looking extra hot today."

He looks down at me, shocked. "You're really up for it?"

"Since when do you question sex?" I ask, confused.

"Since you've been detoxing for three days straight," he says, shaking his head.

"I'm okay. I want this," I say, pulling on his sleeve and bringing him down to me. "I want you."

"And as much as I want you too, you're not okay," he says, frowning.

I pull away, clenching my jaw. "Is your room inside?"

"Yeah," he says, seeming confused.

I take his hand, pulling him toward the entrance of the station. "We're doing this."

"Woah, Cam. Just slow down. You're not thinking straight," he says, still following me willingly.

I walk through the entrance, coming to the place where there's three halls in separate directions. "Which way?"

"Just hold on-"

"John, don't tell me to hold on. I'm fucking done with everything right now and I just want you to distract me. Is that too much to ask?" I say, shaking my head.

He sighs, pointing down one of the halls. I nod, taking his hand again and dragging him down the hallway. He gives me directions until we arrive at a door. It doesn't take long to get here. He opens it and I follow him in, taking a quick look around. It's obviously made entirely of metal. A bed sits flat against the far wall and a desk sits next to the door on the right.

I ignore everything, pushing the door closed and grabbing his neck. I kiss him roughly, pushing him back and down to sit on the bed. I move to sit in his lap, knees on either side of him. His eyebrows raise as he waits for me to kiss him. I don't, planting a hand on his chest and laying him back. I lean over him as his hands run down my waist.

"You know," he says, spinning us so he's on top, "I thought you wanted to get this over with. You seem to be stalling."

His hands trail up my arms, latching onto my wrists and holding me down. I grin, arching my back up into him. "Why am I not allowed to take my time, John? You got somewhere to be?"

He presses his hips roughly down into mine. "You don't question me."

_•_•_

Lexa wants Finn. Lexa is apparently the Commander of the Grounders. She wants blood for all the people Finn murdered. She wants him turned over to them. I'm not sure what's going to happen to him. They've made camp outside Camp Jaha. When I learned that was what they called this place, I was angry but I've gotten over it.

Security has increased to max. Even John and I have been given guns. Clarke picked a fight with him which I completely ignored. She's back to being her uptight self. Her controlling self. I'm getting pissed off honestly. I have the urge to rip John's clothes off with every look I get of him. He has that stupid smirk on his lips that drives me fucking insane. The second we're alone, I'm hoping he'll fuck the shit out of me.

I'm standing by the gate, watching as Clarke walks toward the Grounder camp in the nighttime. Finn is already tied to a pole off to the right. I have no idea how he got caught but he did. She's in Lexa's tent for maybe five minutes before she walks out, looking hopeless. She goes to Finn, hugging him tightly and pulling away. He's bleeding and she's holding a bloody knife when she's off him. Raven screams in my ear and I pull her toward me. She clings at my back, crying out as she does. I'm frozen in her arms.

WORD COUNT: 1317

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