Survive, if you can // John Murphy

//53// La Muerte Es La Vida

WARNINGS: swearing, violence, depictions of pain.

I'm sitting with Raven, tapping my foot anxiously and staring at Bellamy. He's speaking in a low voice to Bill. I can't stop thinking about what happened to him. There had to be a real reason he has this "faith" now. It couldn't have just been the pretty light in the secluded cave where Bill showed him his mother and he saw a higher way of being. Listen to this. It's completely ridiculous. I can't believe it. I won't believe it.

"I see you've changed your anxious ways," Raven says, staring at my foot.

"Im sorry," I say, sitting up further and running my hands through my hair. "I'm just worried-"

"About Murphy, I know," she says, nodding. "You love him and he's in danger. Nothing else matters right now."

I sigh, standing quickly and walking over to Bellamy who faces me slowly. "What the hell happened to you?"

He tilts his head to the side. "What do you mean?"

"I mean why are you acting like you don't give a shit about your friends?" I ask, shaking my head and stepping closer to him. "Your family."

"I care, Cam-"

"You sure as hell don't want me to think you do then because I feel like shit right now," I say, voice breaking. "You're my best friend, Bell. I want you back."

"You have me-"

"No," I say, taking a step back and clenching my jaw, "I don't want this Bellamy. You're not the same and I don't think you ever will be. Because you're right, I'm not one for faith."

I turn, hearing something behind me and then watching as all the lights go out. My body spins around again but all I find is a sun as red as it needs to be to make me kill my friends and a swarm of bugs heading toward us. John shut the power off and the bugs are coming inside Sanctum. We need to go inside the reactor. Luckily, Bill and Bellamy are too busy staring at the bugs to notice that I run into the machine shop and toward the reactor door. I enter the code, opening the door and rushing inside. I walk into the second room only to find John pointing a gun at my chest.

I raise my hands quickly. "Woah. It's alright."

"Damn it, Cam," he says, dropping the gun and pulling me into his arms.

I sigh, grabbing at his back. "Yeah, same here."

When he pulls away, he smiles and touches my cheek. "Anything interesting happen while I was down here?"

"You could say that," I reply, nodding. "We have to leave, by the way."

_•_•_

Clarke looks guilty for some reason. I can't be sure why but there are tears in her eyes and she seems unable to stand. Madi helps her up and I finally review our surroundings. We're in the Second Dawn bunker. The fighting pit to be exact. I never got to spend much time here but it looks like I'll get the chance now.

"Cam?"

I turn to find Niylah behind me. I smile, rushing toward her and hugging her tightly. "I'm glad you're okay."

When I get the chance, I pull away and hug Jordan next. He hugs like his dad used to. So tight. Like I might vanish if he lets go. It actually comforts me a bit to have his arms around me. The only other thing I want right now is a hot shower but I doubt I'll be getting that.

"Where's Octavia?" Clarke is asking Gaia who's walked in.

"She's on the ground," Gaia responds. "With Echo and Miller."