Sᴛᴀʀsᴛʀᴜᴄᴋ | Fɪʟʟɪᴇ

XLI • Loose Ends

Comment and Vote ❤
2000 words

§

June 11

          And that was the last time I saw him. I know this is a weird story, but so is this assignment. The last few months of my life have been weird, and when I saw this assignment, it was the only thing I could think of to match the criteria. My life was pretty boring before he (who I won't name) came into my life, and from there the tables turned. I miss him —why wouldn't I? But I should have known he wasn't coming back since he told me he was leaving at the beginning of April. But I suppose that's how life works. Nothing really lasts forever, and I guess this was an example of it. I guess this is proof of how easily people can "fall in love" or become infatuated. Or in my case, possibly starstruck.

Millie sighed and pulled her hands away from the keyboard of her laptop, rereading the final paragraph of her essay before leaning back in her seat with satisfaction. Write about an odd or significant experience you had and explain why it effected your life. The assignment had stumped Millie for nearly a week until she had finally decided to just do it. And she had.

She decided to write the unique story of her interaction with Finn. Though she never mentioned his actual name in her essay, she wrote about his dark curls and the coal eyes that tended to lock with hers, and the signature, smartass grin that broke out onto his face. She highlighted the night Finn knocked her unconscious with the metal door in the back alley of the nightclub, explaining the beginning of the story with blurry detail. She found herself unlocking the memories, remembering the smell of his cologne that had once lingered on the hoodie she wore to bed; she had given it back to him with her sweet perfume lingering on the fabric. She talked about his performances and their late night drives, and the webs of lies she had created to hide Finn from others until the secret came loose. Millie decided to include secret events that occurred on her balcony, the ones that forced a blush upon her cheeks, and how he would visit her like Romeo did Juliet. 

Finally, she wrote about the black guitar pick and the final text message she had sent him, before concluding her essay with the truth of their infatuation and possible love. Millie had spoken the truth in her essay, only hiding his real name in her story. She let all the words fall onto the page, finally confessing every aspect of her secret onto the pages of paper with black ink.

So when this assignment was placed before her, she decided to recall the story of her interaction with Finn. She never did hear from him again after he got on the plane. But she could no longer find reason in her heart to resent him. After he had left, the anger and sadness she had felt disappeared day by day and she continued on with life. But deep down, she had begun to feel empty with the sense of joy and freedom missing, loose from her grasp. Nonetheless, she began to recover, move on. And letting it all out onto the pages on her desk felt like a wave of relief. 

She often wondered about him and how he was doing. She had moments where it felt needed to contact him, but resisted every time. She found herself recording his interviews and stalking his social media, smiles tugging at the corners of her lips at his posts. She still missed him, of course. But the negative feelings that had bubbled in her had calmed and sailed away like a boat on still water, leaving a pit in her stomach. Nevertheless, she pushed on through the next few months and never spoke about Finn until this moment, moving through life like a beautiful little fool who never saw anything unless it was under her nose, just how she was expected to be.

Retrieving her assignment from her printer, Millie set the papers neatly on her desk. She slumped back in her seat, picking her phone up from the desk as it began to ring. "Hey Sadie."