Last First Kiss [H.S.]

Album Release

November 25, 2013
London, England

Our flight was way too early and so long. I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was sleep all day. My head hurt a lot from the lack of sleep and Louis wouldn't stop talking the whole ride. He kept going on and on about something I don't know.

All the boys know about the fact that I'm going on tour with James, obviously Louis did first but I had told them once Harry and I met with them for ice cream. They were beyond excited for me which I honestly expected. I mean, why wouldn't they be?

The only thing I had to reassure them of what that I will be still working with them. It'd be just like now but instead I'd be somewhere else. James did tell me I can leave whenever I want unless he needs me specifically. He knows I still have my contract with the boys and am dedicated to help them, so he understands I won't be completely his for this.

Julian told me that he will still be with the boys the whole time and that James is my own project and I have to say that doing this on my own is a bit exciting. Obviously James has other people he works with who I haven't met yet, but just the thought that I'm doing something so new alone is something I should probably be proud of.

And I am proud of myself. I mean, I've come a far way from everything horrible to nothing ever going wrong. Life isn't life without it's ups and downs but this year really did change everything I had going for myself.

Today, Harry had our families comes stay at his house for the album release this afternoon. We have access to the album since we did have the final draft but Harry wanted to wait for the official release date to listen to it together.

"Let's go love, two more steps and we can sleep all day" He laughs at my sleepy body, pulling my arm to try and get me out of the car. I huff when he lifts me up bridal style, but I just let him. My head was killing me and I could barely keep my eyes open.

"Alright, you're gonna have to stand for me, baby" He laughs under his breath, lowering my feet to the floor. I pout slightly when he does so but oblige nonetheless, knowing he has to get our luggages out of the car.

"Go lay down, I'll get these" He pushes me to the sofa. I don't protest because all I want to do is just that. I plop myself onto his sofa, feeling the soft material under my body as I sink into it easily. I sigh in relief at the contact and close my eyes, a dreamy smile forming on my face. 

I don't think I've ever appreciated resting in my entire life. I mean I honestly took sleep for granted when I was a teenager. I'd stay up until five in the morning on the phone with Harry or Cara, not thinking twice about the fact that sleep is really fucking important. You'd think that it was just something to get rid of your bags under the eyes or your bad mood. But those are just the aide effects of your body totally rejecting the fact that you just didn't sleep at all and have been up for hours. I knew Harry barely got sleep when he started One Direction, but I didn't think much of it until now. I mean, I'm going through the same thing. I never stop anymore which is becoming an unhealthy problem that I'm truing to get better at. And it's not even that I'm asked to work this long. I chose to work 'til late hours so I can get stuff done. I put all this unnecessary pressure on myself knowing it's only gonna get worse when I go with James.

The thought of all the work I'm gonna have on my hands with him and the boys was already a huge stressor on my part. But I wasn't gonna complain because after all, I loved doing this. The rush of having a song done at the late hours, staying up with the boys and fooling around while eating take out. I genuinely enjoyed the late rendezvous despite the lack of sleep I get. It did suck, yea, but I chose this life and I don't plan on stopping now.