nineteen: better forgotten

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things have been hectic in the lee household. their mother was especially indifferent, they have barely seen her ever since their dinner with their father.

that made jihoon think and realize how broken his family really is. ever since he left the uk with jihan, never once has he took the time to think about his mother and father. it would've been fine if they were just separated, but they're separated and they hate each other. jihoon doesn't understand why.

you would think that he, as the eldest son, would carry the burden of their family but he was as clueless as chan has ever been. he never took time to think about his family because what had always mattered to him is the present. isn't very wise, huh?

his sister, jihan, on the other hand carries all the burdens among the siblings. although not exactly the eldest child, as the only daughter she took the responsibility of being her siblings' second mother. she truly is remarkable which is why the three boys cherish her so much, she's everything to them.

jihoon found it sad, how he was able to experience a happy family- not very vividly, but he remembers his parents being together. that's his earliest memory, their parents taking him and jihan to the park as they ate ice cream.

he envied seokmin and chan. they never got to experience what being in a complete, happy family feels like. he'd rather wonder what something would feel like than long for something he has felt before, knowing he'll never experience it again.

he's well aware that he was his father's favorite child. although that's what every child longs for, that did not immunize him from the bitter taste of resentment.

if him and his sister weren't the favorites, they could have gotten a better childhood. one full of rainbows, toy and happiness. he wanted something sweet to remember when childhood is mentioned, but he got the opposite. whenever he hears that word, he feels nothing else but sadness.

whenever he thinks about his past, all he could taste is bitterness. the good childhood he never had, he mourns for it.

he's just glad seokmin and chan never got to experience what he and his sister did because it was truly, absolutely, a nightmare.

-

"where are we going?" jihoon asked his father who was busy reading contracts beside him.

"you know, jihan's the best among your siblings" their father replied. "we're checking her engagement party venue, after that we'll be going to mister kwon's son's taekwondo tournament"

"soonyoung?" jihoon asked, surprised. "what's making you go?"

"mr. kwon invited me personally, so i must go as a friend. we're also planning on becoming business partners"

"oh" jihoon said, caught off guard. "then isn't that enough? should jihan still marry joshua hong?"

sighing, his father adjusted his classes as they were about to fall. "what is an engagement between two heirs, jihoon? i'm sure i have taught you this"

jihoon pressed his lips in a thin line before speaking, "it is a pact, a contract that merges two companies, creating more power"

"correct" his father said. "do you not want that?"

"i don't want my sister to be unhappy"

"there's nothing to be unhappy about with joshua" his father chuckled. "i wouldn't associate my daughter with a good-for-nothing man. that boy is a wonderful one"

"right" jihoon said, not as agreement or favour, but just for the sake of sounding respectful.

"i don't have plans for you, woozi"

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